It really is a mixed bag this week, Spirit's twin probe Opportunity touches down on Mars and instantly goes to work proving that there was once water on the red planet.
In Taiwan a massive explosion rips through the city centre of Tainan, but it's not what you think. A dead whale being transported through the city becomes so bloated with rotten gas in the heat that it bursts, leaving everyone in the vicinity covered in stinky blood, guts and blubber!
In sport the ladies are sweltering at the Australian Open. Justine Henin beats Kim Clijsters 6-3, 4-6, 6-3 to win her only Australian title.
In tech news the MyDoom worm becomes the most destructive worm in history when it starts infecting computers across North America and eventually the globe, causing around $38 billion in damages.
Du Hast Mein Herz Gerbrochen is dominating the German charts this week, and we have the usual music news.
In entertainment Ashton Kutcher gets his emo time travel on with the Butterfly Effect and the Golden Globes see's Charlize Theron win a best actor award for her role playing serial killer Aileen Wournos in the film Monster.
Plus books we didn't read makes a triumphant return when we break down Pete Rose's, My Prison Without Bars.
Hang with us on socials to chat more noughties nostalgia - Facebook (@tminus20) or Instagram (tminus20podcast). You can also contact us there if you want to be a part of the show.
It really is a mixed bag this week, Spirit's twin probe Opportunity touches down on Mars and instantly goes to work proving that there was once water on the red planet.
In Taiwan a massive explosion rips through the city centre of Tainan, but it's not what you think. A dead whale being transported through the city becomes so bloated with rotten gas in the heat that it bursts, leaving everyone in the vicinity covered in stinky blood, guts and blubber!
In sport the ladies are sweltering at the Australian Open. Justine Henin beats Kim Clijsters 6-3, 4-6, 6-3 to win her only Australian title.
In tech news the MyDoom worm becomes the most destructive worm in history when it starts infecting computers across North America and eventually the globe, causing around $38 billion in damages.
Du Hast Mein Herz Gerbrochen is dominating the German charts this week, and we have the usual music news.
In entertainment Ashton Kutcher gets his emo time travel on with the Butterfly Effect and the Golden Globes see's Charlize Theron win a best actor award for her role playing serial killer Aileen Wournos in the film Monster.
Plus books we didn't read makes a triumphant return when we break down Pete Rose's, My Prison Without Bars.
Hang with us on socials to chat more noughties nostalgia - Facebook (@tminus20) or Instagram (tminus20podcast). You can also contact us there if you want to be a part of the show.
Transcript is generated automatically
The year is 2004. Your polyphonic ringtone habit is sending you broke. George W Bush is sworn in for a second term, and in spite of everything going on, the most controversial thing is a wardrobe malfunction at the Super Bowl. T -, 20 rewind 20 years with Joe and Mel.
Week, oh, 25 January 2004.
The rest is history -20.
You know what? I'm very forgetful.
Stop trying to make fetch happen.
Than I thought it would be.
My fellow Americans.
Let's roll.
Welcome to the podcast where we rewind to this week, 20 years ago, all the way back in two. 1004. We're traversing 2 from 2024. I finally got it right in my. Head. Yeah. So I'm not running 2023 anymore. It's only taken three or four weeks with your host, Joe and Mel. Hello, Mel.
You've got the floors on the ends close. Hello we are rewinding to 25 to 31 January 2004 in fact.
The worm has slowed overall global Internet performance by approximately 10%. Average web page loading time slowed by 50%. The computing community is reporting that one in 10 email messages now contain the virus.
One in 10 email messages now contain the virus. It's very disturbing news. Way back in 2004, one in 10 of my emails I could probably unsubscribe from. These days I have my boxes, my boxes overflowing.
That was the Doom virus and the worst virus so far that we've had at at this point. Umm. Hmm.
In the history of viruses 20 years ago.
So crazy.
I'm from a farm in South Africa.
She is from a farm in South Africa and she won the Golden Globe Award this time 20 years ago in a film that was extraordinary and so disturbing, but just an amazing performance. We'll look at that a little bit later on in the show.
To have positive confirmation of a safe. Landing. We're seeing it on the LCP.
A standing ovation for positive confirmation of a safe landing from NASA that was NASA Mission Control. We're talking about another Rover.
Yes, we're back in space. We're back on Mars this time. We're talking about opportunity. Ohh good opportunity has landed.
So we had spirit a week or so ago, and now we've got opportunity. They're just, it's getting a bit congested on Mars 2 lovers. Look, it's a big planet. I wonder if they ever meet up that.
We love it. We love a space tale.
Would be exciting.
We'll find out. Speaking of opportunity. It's the end of January, so around this time school's starting back up. The kiddies are getting. Back to school, a lot of people are. Heading back to work, I've seen a lot of things on the socials, about people getting ready for the New year, getting their new diary, getting their new planner, and what are people saying. This is the one.
It's this.
It's the one that. Is is gonna make my year. This is gonna change every game changer, the game changer.
The game changing diary. It's it's a good time to buy them after the New Year because they're cheaper too.
That's true. If you wait a couple of weeks, they're usually.
Yes, yes, yeah. And given you haven't gone.
Half price.
Back to work, of course. How thrifty of you.
Yes, but the the planners these days are amazing. So you've got it's not just a date with a few lines you've got, you've. Got you've got space to feel like your gratitude. You can talk about. How much exercise you've done and what sort of exercise? How many? Glasses of water you've you've had to drink. That's why it is.
You can diarise your water and your gratitude.
It turns it it kind of gamifies it a bit. Actually it turns it into a bit of a challenge. Can I get my 10 glasses of water in?
Yeah, right. Can you, does it have the opposite? Do you have to measure every time you take a pee? After all that water as well?
And did I stretch adequately? You probably could. There's there's, there's there's.
You've got a pea diary.
Probably an entry for number of toilets.
Hmm hmm.
Over over the course of the. I do find though some of them are a little. Bit intrusive where? You've got to sit there at the end. Of the day and write down what you're grateful. For and I just I feel and I feel that if.
Yeah, I'm not. I'm not into that. I'm not grateful for that like.
You know one of. My colleagues was to. Look over my shoulder at my diary and see cheese. Call Leah.
That's what you're grateful for, cheese and Coolio.
Those sorts of things I'm grateful for. Yeah, the fact that my soup didn't leak. Through my bag on. The way to work even though I. Didn't screw the. Lid on properly. That's kind of where I am with. Gratitude. So I feel like gratitude. Is kind of a little bit invasive.
It's an overshare. I think it's. I think we're over documenting our lives. So you've gone from doing it all on your phone and all. See my diary. My diary is still it's all electronic. I use like an iPad and a a pencil with it so that I can just, like cut and paste and delete and all that sort of stuff. But I I it's just like, here's my list of stuff to do and I'll cross it off and that's it. That's all I'm doing. I like the.
Stickers, though the stickers feel nice.
Right.
Feels like you peel it off and. You stick out. You know what it. Brings back the. Vibes of did you ever have a dinky diary?
I no.
Do you remember the dinky diary in the 80s? It was like a hardcover diary and it closed across the side with a magnet and you stuck. No, it didn't have a lock. It was just a magnet closure. And then inside it had the diary. And then you had a notebook and it had stickers. Had that private key.
Didn't have a lock. OK. It's a selection. Of stickers. What sort of stickers? Ohh OK.
Outs personal information. Right, warn, warn people away. I think that's what we should bring back for the. Planner. The dinky diary.
It's just seems like a throwback to like the colouring in and activity books that. You had when you were six.
And you buy coloured pens and you buy coloured textures and that's all about that time, blocking your colour in the yes, it is it does. It does feel like a revival. So I just, let's just bring back. The dinky diary.
I feel like it's encouraging people too much. It's like I I went into a meeting one day at A at a former job and this person, like normally, you know, you've got your diary there and you're taking notes in the meeting. And this person brought out this huge art process diary and then a whole bunch of coloured pencils and stuff. They're. Like I'm a very visual person. Ohh one of those. I was like kill me. Get Me Out of here. Alright, now have you put any of this in your diary of the show notes? So do you do you diarise when you're gonna plan the?
Show this week. No, that's just in. My notes on.
Right, yes.
My phone and heaven forbid anyone ever goes through the notes on my phone. It's it's a scary place.
It is a pretty crazy you. Know Dad, shudder to think of what your search. Is through, yeah.
Shopping lists, measurements, ideas, voice notes.
Reminders you've got about 2000 alarms on there, yes, yes is there. Is there a drink? Water alarm on there.
No, but maybe there should be. So I I feel like I didn't get.
Where you could. Transfer these.
My full 8 cancers in today. OK good idea.
Transfer that into your paper diary anyway. Sorry, the Hatch. The hatches, matches and dispatches clue for this week for the segment that we're gonna do at the end of the show. It's a celebrity having a birthday. That said this.
You know, I just didn't want to be gay. Honestly, I just didn't want to be a lesbian.
Yes, we'll play that one more time for.
You know, I just didn't want to be gay. Honestly, I just didn't want to be a lesbian.
They didn't want to and I'm not sure that they had a choice. If I'm being honest with you, we'll find out who that is at.
Hmm, OK.
The end of the show. Here is the news for the week commencing 25th of January 2004 Mel starting.
Starting right at the start of the week on the 25th, Nasas Opportunity Rover lands on the surface of. Mars now. This is the twin of spirit. Twins is twinning. So Spirit Spirit landed a.
Ohh OK, so we'll spare time out first.
Couple of weeks ago. And opportunity comes out a little bit later.
Spirit was the one that had to reboot its hard drive. Yes, it got kind of stuck in a little boot cycle and they turned it on. And off again and then it worked. That's.
Right and spirit also climbed. And hill. You will remember? Yeah, so.
That yes, yes, I think well and I think opportunity spent more time exploring craters while Spirit was looking at Hills which was interesting so.
It's quite the journey. So this is NASA's ME RB1, which stands for Mars Exploration Rover one.
Right.
And he was also in search of ancient water, pretty much the same, pretty much the same job description as spirit, looking for the ancient. Water, rocks, soil. Basically to find out if there's anything on Mars that could sustain life.
And look, when it landed, they were, especially after the tension that had happened the other week with Spirit, it was very tense. Initially they were elated. It was a perfect landing.
Have positive confirmation of a safe landing.
We're seeing it on the LCP.
Very strong.
And healthy.
Opportunity hit a hole in one when she landed, the airbag system rolled into the small crater called Eagle Crater, and when the Rover first turned on its cameras, it saw that the rim of the small crater was lined with exposed bedrock.
So we took out our microscope for the first time, and we took a picture and the surface of Mars. That location is littered with an uncountable number of little round things.
Were called blueberries because they looked like blueberries in a muffin. What we discovered was that those are features that form in water and and they were a really definitive sign that there had been liquid water on the surface of Mars sometime in the past.
Success day one Bing.
Day one sound the ancient water. Take that spirit.
Now, what are we gonna do? Yeah. Well, give Spirit break.
Go and repeat your hard drive. We found the ancient water we don't need. So it was quite a nice landing and touched down bounced at least 26 times before coming to rest in that crater and finding the ancient blueberry waters opportunity was actually one of the most successful and enduring into planetary missions 15 years. It was only supposed to be.
Yeah, it was.
Operating for, I think 5 maybe not that many anyway. So 15 years, yeah, although 2005. So a year later opportunity got stuck after its wheels were buried in sand, but controllers back at NASA HQ were able to manoeuvre it a few inches at a time. Six weeks it took to fray it. I'm manoeuvring it. How patient would you have to be?
Well, that's. They are incredibly patient people. They are just phenomenally patient.
Yes, I moved. What did you do at work today, love. Ohh. I moved opportunity. .2 millimetres. Good day. Mashed all the buttons. Wow. Yeah.
Yes, backwards, forwards, forwards, backwards trying to get it out of the. Turn it on and off again. Yeah. So I think it lasted like we said, 15 years, but there was, it did struggle a little bit because when they when it did get bogged and you said like it took six weeks there, there were also all these dust storms. So the solar panels couldn't generate enough power, which is why I think it took so long. Amongst other things, I mean. Mars is a pretty unforgiving environment. But it there was a three year journey that it took as well during its tenure on the planet to the Endeavour Crater where it took a selfie in 2014.
It was really cute, I. Saw a picture. Of it it's own selfie. That's pre Kim K, isn't it?
2014.
Matt could opportunity claim to own the selfie.
Have been ahead of its time, not sure they actually lost communications about a year later in 2015, when Mars passed behind the. Sun and in 2017, it reached Perseverance Valley, which is, I mean, I wonder if well.
That near husband Hill.
Possibly, and it was probably named by a woman. If that was the case. But in 2018 was the last time that they received a signal from it. In in June, it's. Perseverance valley. I mean, I think that that's that's gotta have been named after all of those NASA engineers because they really are. Yes, you know, patient and persevering people to be, I mean how? Long did you say again for that?
To get it out of.
Bog the bog six weeks. Six moving at a few inches at a time 6.
And the teeth. Up. Anyway, look, that's that's very exciting news. This is also very exciting news and and a little bit gross on the 28th of January, a whale exploded in the town of Tainan in Taiwan. One now this whale was beached on the South West coast of Taiwan on the 17th of January and it died before help Carol. This this happened often and and it.
That's that's sad.
Well, it's, it's. I mean, we live inland and we know we know what Rd kill is like. Yeah. You know, I I often will go cycling out on some major roads. Where often cars will come into contact with Kangaroos. And nobody really cleans them. Up it has a.
Smell there is, yes, not very distinctive tinge.
And quite often, especially if you like huffing and puffing a little bit, you. Inhale and.
You get that?
Really dirty dead kangaroo. So it's disgusting. It's very gross. And so this is just Rd kill to the extreme. Coming in from the ocean so.
Yes, yes.
But they.
Did see an opportunity with it. They thought this is we could study, we could study.
There's that word again, yeah.
This this dead. Whale let's not, you know, let's find. The bright side. Of this, let's give it a study.
Right.
Because it was, it was really large. It was 17 metres long and weighed 50 tonnes and in order to then do their research, they needed to move it to a research centre.
That is 17 metres and 50 tonnes of necrotic dead flesh.
They needed three cranes, 50 workers. It took 13 hours and they put it on the back of a truck to travel to the research centre.
Yes, and this is where the problem.
Starts. Yes, they get it on the truck. Fine, no.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Problem. They've secured it, they've. Secured their load appropriately. Truck drives off, but to get to. The research centre it need. To drive through the busy streets of Tainan and it was a big deal. They were saying, come down, come and see this massive dead whale through like it was a it was a parade. Effectively they had St vendors selling food and drink and all the locals had come out to waste their wave. The.
That kept the dead whale. T shirts maybe?
Dead sperm whale. On as it went past what? The exciting day that. Would have been umm.
Yes, yes. Exciting until until what happened is is the gas. Inside the whale, I mean it's warm. You know, it's it's tropical. So the stomach juices and the gas, the.
Yes, yes, stomach juices.
Yes, yes. And and the and this, we've seen this happen with Rd Kill as well and and it happens to whales out in the ocean too. Yeah, yeah. So it expands the whale expands like a big balloon until it explodes and douses everyone in the city with blood and guts and. All other whale parts and yeah, you know, half digested krill or whatever it is that they've been snacking on that that's been you know drying out in the midday sun you could imagine. How disgusting that would have been.
All the bystanders were covered in blood and guts, and cars were damaged. I think shop fronts were blown out by entrails and the smell, obviously the smell. So it was a very.
What would you put on your insurance claim for that?
Oh well enough.
Yeah. Whale whale guts. Are we covered for whale guts? I'm not sure the city would have got in big trouble on. Very.
Have to be. To be. Soon so the clean up was really. Stinky. But on the the positive side, nobody was. Healed. I don't think there were any major injuries. It was just a really big clean up effort and also. They still had. Enough of the whale to do their research. So all was not lost. So they, you know, they scooped up some of the bits and they carried on to the research centre and they're like able to do their research on on.
That's good.
The whale and. That wasn't the only thing there was. A very particular. Body part of this whale that drew a lot of attention as well. So after they did their research they had it on display because it had some it was a male and and it had a rather large penis. Yes, which. Drew quite the crowd.
Five feet apart. Five feet. So a penis the size of a medium size man. Yeah, yeah.
Apparently, more than 100 residents, mostly men, reportedly went. To see the corpse to. Experience the size.
Is that right? I wonder if that might take shifts for that.
Of the appendage.
Yes, there was there. Actually was another famous exploding whale incident in the 70s.
And and look. Yeah. So this is a long time ago, but we're gonna double down on our whale content because I don't feel like we're ever gonna have another opportunity to discuss exploding whales. So let's just go.
It's a great story. This one's a better story because this one, this one wasn't a nap.
For it, I love this one, yes.
Actual explosion. So this happened in the 70s, I think it was in Oregon. Yes. And it was a 45 foot long sperm whale. So not as big as the one in in Taiwan, Taiwan. But still very large. He was like, I think something like 7 tonnes more, something like that. How many kilogrammes in a tonne, 1000.
Seven just over 7000 kilos.
Yeah. Yeah. So he was. Yeah. So he was like 7 tonnes and they were like, he was beached and he was up high on the beach and he wasn't going back into the ocean. And he was getting. A bit smelly and rotten and they were like. How are we gonna move this whale? We can't get vehicles down onto the sand. Like, how are we gonna move this whale?
No, no.
So some genius goes, I've got a great.
Idea. What's a great idea? Tell me more.
To blow it up, I've got a whole. Bunch of let's stuff. It full of dynamite, tonnes and tonnes of dynamite and.
Brilliant idea. What could possibly go wrong?
We'll blow it.
Up so this is this guy by the name of George Thornton. He's the engineer that came up with the old George. And he's like, Yep, I'm.
Look, I'm not sure how much dynamite we're gonna need. Well, George was acting at the time. His supervisor. Had gone hunting, so George was in charge. So George George is an ideas man, but he was also an acting ideas man, so I don't.
Any. Well, you know, no.
How well versed he was with dynamite?
Well, he was. Seizing the opportunity, this is his chance to take a leadership role and prove his worth.
I'm gonna be a thinker. Yes, yes. So when this job comes up, I'll go for the interview.
I'll be the one that will be able to say Ohh was the one that was able to scuttle the whale with with anyway yes, but George wasn't sure how much dynamite was required. He just thought.
I blew up the whale. Blew up the sperm whale? Remember that that was all me.
He had to move it because his supervisor had gone hunting and this is what he thought. So a charge of 1/2 short tonne or 450 kilos of dynamite. So 7000 kilos of of whale, 450 kilos of dynamite. I would think. Yeah, there was a military veteran.
That should do it.
That that sounds like a good ratio.
Who was in the area and he was well versed in explosive training.
Right.
He said that 20 cases of dynamite, which is the 450 cars, was probably a little too much and you can really just do with like 20 sticks of dynamite. But they didn't.
Ohh. 3.8 kilos. Yeah, but George's like, mate, are you acting? No, I'm acting. I'm in charge. This is my. This is my call.
No, I'm acting. I'm in charge. Don't back. Check me. I know boats. Yes. And so so they detonated it. Anyway, here's the news report. This is wonderful.
The dynamite was buried primarily on the Leeward side of the big mammal, so as most of the remains would be blown toward the sea, about 75 bystanders, most of them residents who had first found the whale to be an object of curiosity before they tired of its smell, were moved back 1/4 of a mile. While away the sand dunes there were covered with spectators and landlubber newsmen shortly to become land, blubber newsmen, where the blast blasted blubber beyond all believable bounds.
All right, Fred. OK.
Here comes.
Our cameras stopped rolling immediately after the blast. The humour of the entire situation suddenly gave way to a run for survival, as huge chunks of whale blubber fell everywhere. Pieces of meat passed high over our heads, while others were falling at our feet. The dunes were rapidly evacuated as spectators escaped both the falling debris and the overwhelming smell. A parked car over 1/4 of a mile from the blast site was the target of one large chunk. The passenger compartment literally smacked. Fortunately, no human was hit as badly as the car. However, everyone on the scene was covered with small particles of dead.
The footage is amazing because they've they've moved everyone back for safety, come back behind the sand. Yes, come back a little bit further. And that was all in vain because it was pretty much raining whale for kilometres and then you see them all just running and then the.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, you could hear. It so.
Footage just cuts.
Yeah, because they're like, we just gotta get out of here. But you could hear it. You could. When you hear the explosion, you could hear that all that noise is not interference with. Recording that is actual chunks of whale hitting the ground and everything around them is absolutely disgusting.
There was. Did you see the footage of? The car that was basically sort of damaged and almost cut in half by some, yes.
Oh yeah. It's a massive chunk of wild, but it's a wonder if somebody wasn't killed. I I think the funniest thing about it is the idea after they exploded it because they thought it would explode into tiny little pieces, which it it did not like. There were big pieces and little pieces.
That yes.
Various sizes, those tiny little pieces were gonna be eaten by all the birds on but.
Yes, the seagulls. They thought they'll they'll eat up all. The bits and pieces and it'll be all good.
But the explosion scared the **** out of the birds. So they all flew. Away. They didn't come back to eat any. Of it. OK. A very quick sports segment before we move on to other matters, the 31st of January, the Australian Open women's tennis, the tennis is on at the moment. Of course, everyone is very excited, people staying up late for it. I do not know. They do the Australian Open when they. Do it is so.
So hot, yes.
So hot we I think it's in, I I don't know, but I'm thinking maybe they're trying to actually kill a tennis player at one stage of the from the heat. It's ridiculous.
Well, maybe it's the homegrown advantage because you know, our tennis players would be used to be playing in the heat. Maybe they're trying to, maybe they're trying to do something with that.
I don't, I don't think so. I don't think anyone would enjoy playing on a tennis court. Well, this time on the 31st of January, the women's tennis was on and all Belgian final Justine Henin beat Kim Clijsters 634663 to win her only Australian title.
I don't care. I hate tennis.
Now we'll play. It's terrific play with the Souches tonight. Who's from the crowd? That's done it.
Then he sets the 163663.
Overcome with emotion. Yes, 21 year old Belgian glass. Has captured a third Grand Slam title, the first here in Australia.
Now you would have heard there. There was a controversy, some billing. Well, they think that hennon kind of dogged cloisters, because Kristen's got a point on her just before the final point and and turned around to the referee, said the ball was out. And I think the replay will show that the ball was clearly in, she missed it. So she she would have dropped that point. And of course that it's all ancient history now. She went out on to win it very controversial circumstances.
Oh, I don't care. It's tennis.
Yeah. Well, they dogged Kim. She dogged Kim clusters. I think that's terrible.
Cause Kim was pretty good. Around this time, 20 years ago, wasn't. She she's a bit of.
Ah yeah, I don't know.
A big deal. And the Williamses, where were the Williamses? There's no Williams in there.
No, that's odd. It's probably too hot. For them, like I'm not gonna go. And play in. That crap. ****** that. It's 40° ridiculous. Let's move over to technology. Mel, on the 26th of January, just the old Australia Day in fact.
Very, very honesty in minded.
Happy Australia Day out there if you're.
Having a BBQ or doing whatever doom my doom, you're doom.
One of the. My doom, not my doom. Someone else's doom, which was one of the most destructive computer worms.
Someone else's.
Ohh Tom, I think it still. Is on on record as one of the most destructive worms.
The worm. So the worm was cool. Old dear, hmm.
My doom capital, MY doom, all one word with Big D So kind of like Myspace but Doom starts appearing on computers in North America. It targeted computers running windows.
Alright. Yeah, big day.
It's always the Windows computers, isn't it? It's always been the Windows 1 so far. Haven't seen any Mac.
Well, that was. That's the big selling point for the Max, isn't if.
Dramas. Yes, we don't get a mydoom by us.
They don't get viruses, apparently no.
Spread via email often appeared as an email attachment. Ohh rookie mistake. Don't open the attachment if you don't know what it's come from. Come on.
Yeah, don't open attachments, mate. Don't. But I mean back then, you know, you'd be quite naive.
And they use language like important information or this is an error message and you need to find out what's happening and what's wrong with your computer. So. Please open me. Please open me.
Look, I tell you, I got one the other day from PayPal and it's like your purchase of $634 has been a. Approved and it had a PayPal logo on it and an eBay logo on it, but the address didn't match a PayPal address so I immediately knew it was a scam, but they they can be a bit tricky. They certainly can make you think twice, yes and back then I feel like.
Well, well done. Congratulations. Back then, well, we didn't really know. We didn't have this big. There wasn't these big campaigns about, you know, don't open attachments. You don't know who they're from, yes.
It was a different time. We were very missing. I mean, we're basically using the Internet for. What *********** at this stage?
Hmm. Yes. So, you know, let's open the attachment once you opened it, it then replicated itself. This. Remember those ones? And then it would then email everyone in your contacts list. So you were like the person that's spread the virus. How bad would you feel?
Yes, it's it's pretty bad. I mean like I I had COVID recently. And I cannot begin to tell you the guilt that comes with having COVID. Yes, it's.
Just spreading my doom to all your friends. Spreading, yes.
Yes, well, it's not. It's not my fault. I don't know how I got it. I didn't open any attachments. I I went to summer Nats and I. Think that's how I got? I I.
You sure you didn't have any attachments? OK.
Definitely didn't open any attachments at summer Nats.
Good, good to hear.
Lord, I must have inhaled some attachments. I don't know. Anyway, so I understand the guilt that comes with it. And The thing is, is I don't know. About computer viruses. But when you've got COVID, nobody cares about you. They all they care about is everyone else. Exactly. That's right. That's right. It's terrible. It's the most isolating thing. So imagine.
No, don't give it to me. Get away from me. Yeah. Imagine a my doom.
Being patient zero for my doom.
Being a my.
Spreader. The worm has slowed overall global Internet performance by approximately 10%. Average web page loading time slowed by 50%. The computing community is reporting that one in 10 email messages now contain the virus. The SEO Group, A software company creating Linux products, offers a $250,000 reward for information leading to the arrest of the Worms creator, the FBI and Secret Service also open investigations.
The FBI is involved.
Yeah. I feel like though when they catch these guys, if they do catch them, they're almost like FBI Secret Service. Like that was amazing. Do you? Want a job? Because we'd rather have them working for us than, you know, going off doing other things. Yeah. Yeah. Otherwise, I mean, what are they going to do? Otherwise they're going to like, like, lock them up like Magneto in the X-Men, where he's in a cell and he's.
But they've got a few cybersecurity gigs going. Show us your resume. They'd be able to escape those hackers, they. Could escape any prison, I reckon.
You think so? I don't know. They'd need a computer first. If they don't have access to a computer, they're.
Yeah, they'll find. A way out. They'd get out, yeah. In a bit of trouble. So my doom? Fastest spreading worm in history at this stage and I think still to this day is is one of the the top spreading ones. Global threats are responsible for a large percentage of all email traffic because it was replicating. Once it got onto the computers. It was one actually sending the most. Emails at that.
Yeah, there's like half.
Point in time.
A million computers, apparently.
Half a million, yeah, it was also a denial of service attack. So not only was it sending emails to your mates, it's targeted websites and had a component to allow the attacker to gain unauthorised access to your computer. And I think they said there they were talking about a particular group. I think it was Linux offering a reward. I I think because it's actually targeted there.
Ohh, that was SCO group. Yeah, yeah.
Targeted their. Operating system and caused a lot of disruption and financial loss to them, which is why they were putting the reward out and really keen to find out. Who was behind it?
Hmm, well the the loss, I mean they were only offering $250,000. The worm in total, I think across the board, not just with SEO, $38 billion in damages at the time. That is a very expensive worm and I.
That's an expensive one.
I think that, you know, you'd be in a fair bit of trouble if you did get caught or you'd end up with a sweet. Cushy FBI job well.
They didn't find the individual or the great.
No, no, it still remains a mystery. To this day.
And they think it was due to ongoing disputes in the software industry, which is why they targeted sites and companies. Nobody has been definitively identified, but within the. Worm coach this. Super nerdy someone went into the back end code of the worm and they found. In there some. That said, Andy, I'm just doing my job. Nothing personal. Leading many to believe that it was a paid job, that.
Ohh really some, maybe some industrial espionage that's intense.
They had hired a hacker, yes. I like how they leave little bread crumbs in.
The coat? I like it. It's a it's a cold case, isn't it? Really? It's an unsolved mystery. But I do remember that show. Unsolved mystery.
That's that's cool. Could we Chuck my doom into the mix for the the new new season of unsolved mysteries? Might do.
It's not gonna. Be the most compelling television, is it? It's. Well, we inflicted another one in 10 emails and it was an attack. But and we put $250,000 down as a reward, I mean it's just there's, I mean you can put as much promo music behind that as you like in a scary voice over. It's not really gonna hold people's attention, is it? Let's get into. Music, Mel, let's move away from the Doom and the My doom and gloom and the exploding whales and the opportunities and. All of those things.
OK, let's jump over to the charts. We'll start with the top five on the Billboard charts over in the.
US brings all the boys to the yard and they're like. It's better than yours. Damn right it's better than yours. I could teach you, but I have to charge you.
At this point.
Y'all don't wanna hit.
Me. You just want dance?
Your daddy.
Outcast just dominating the charts at the moment. Over in the USA.
Yes, #1. Hey. Yeah. And they also have #2 with I like. The way you. Move Alicia Keys in at #3 you. Don't know my. Name slow jams. Ohh, who was that? He was involved and.
Twister. Twister. The twister guy with and Jamie Foxx the actor? Yes, yes.
Ohh James fox. That's right, yes. And milkshake khalise in at #4.
Hmm, I get the feeling this might be the last we see of chalice. In the charts. I think the milkshakes curdled a little bit. Few chunks in there. Who?
Smelling a bit like that whale. Number one in Australia also hey. Mish is still number one in the UK. It's it's very boring chart situation this week so I decided to jump on over to the German charts cause never been there. For a while.
Right, OK. Do we still have a listener over? There in German we do.
Yes. From yes, yes, yes. Every week, every week they still haven't messaged.
Me. Maybe. Maybe.
With their feelings on Mensch.
They just like casually subscribed to the podcast and then died.
And just never listen.
Ohh so like so well so I'm saying like nobody's got their affairs in action. And so they're just automatically downloading the.
What's your?
And maybe they don't have the passcode. So what's gonna happen when they do get the passcode and discover the back catalogue of t -, 20 on this person's device?
I'm worried sick. If you are in Hessen, Germany and we would like a Wellness cheques and proof of life. Let's reach out to us here at the podcast. You can find us on Facebook team on US, 20 podcasts. Just shoot us or Instagram. Just shoot us. Even tick Tock if you if that floats your boat, just shoot us a message. But anyway, Mel's done this for you person over in Hess.
Proof. Proof of life. Please. Yes, yes, yes. Yes, yes. And hopefully you were grooving. On to this German number one for this week, 20 years ago. Do heist mine? Hearse gebroken.
Du hast mine herds go broken, which means you broke my heart by Yvonne Caterpillar.
Who has? Mine has come. Oh, baby can Make Love and.
I like that.
That's close to Mensch.
I just think you know for people that say that German is an angry language, I you need to listen more to songs like Brochan. Hmm.
That's beautiful. Brochin by von Catfield.
Yeah, yeah, it it.
Sounds a bit Mariah Carey.
It does a little bit one more time.
Mariah, who has nine. Fast, baby.
I like that she's just trying to casual old baby. In there and I'm just kind of. Swaying along to it. Hmm. Hmm.
You are. You're still going. You enjoy that. What do? You think better than Mitch?
Yeah, yeah, I like it. I like it. I like. I like everyone's voice a. Lot better. It's a bit more sexy. You know, it appeals to me. The German, the German accent and. The the, the, the. Just the breathiness of it all.
I do like I do like a part way through a song. It's nice. She was in the debut season in 2000 of the German singing competition series called Stemmer. 2000.
Yeah, right.
Don't know what's the maybe maybe seeing.
Well, you well, that's well researched. I mean, you've got things that translate.
One, you can translate it while I tell you a bit more about Yvonne Caterpillar. She came in second on Stemmer.
I can't. I don't. Have any devices that are available sweet alright.
And then signed a record deal with Hanson Records, which they they released her debut single, which was called BUM in 2001. I don't know, bum, whether bum in English or whether Bum is a a German word so.
Boom. Maybe it's boom.
While you're looking. Up stem air. Can you look up what? Boom. Means as well just seeing whether she was. Talking about a bottom or something else. She was propelled.
Steam, it means agree.
Agree. Agree 2000 as a singing competition.
Agree 2000? Well, maybe it's like do you agree? Yes, we're going to.
Ohh. Like a vote. OK yeah. So ohh. So you vote yes.
Vote for that, though.
Or no? Yeah. That's good.
Born in German means.
Miserable. Ohh, like bummed. Out. OK. Well, that makes sense.
I think. That's the best I can do.
Anyway, she was also 2000 was a big year for her. She was cast in the main role of the German soap opera Guzick in. Schlecht Zukin, which translates to good times, bad times, schlechte, schlechte. I don't. I'm not very good at.
Oh, good. Yeah. Now it's terrible.
German I only. Well, I only did. Use seven German.
Did you meet Dutch heritage? I mean, that's not. Too far away.
Ohh careful. But no, I did do German. I did do German for six months in year. Seven or year. 8 but I only got up to.
Right.
12 Ciara alt. What's that mean? I'm 12 years old. I've never gotten older than 12 because I didn't know what came after 12 in German. So I'm still still. I'm still 12. So she was in good times.
There are mortal in German, OK?
Bad times. Yeah. And then became an international singing success with faddish. And then Fredric and then do.
Let's say that for D.
That's mine. Her broken came out after that. She was actually offered a role in Fast and Furious. Really. Yes. Fast and furious. She turned it down to voice a German fish in the German version of Shark Tale. That's wonderful. And she's recently been a judge on Germany's version of. The voice there. So she is a big deal in Germany and I really like that song. And I would really like our listener from Hess to perhaps weigh in on this discussion. And tell us how they feel about it on.
Maybe she's like the the Simon Cowell on the on The Voice in German. It's a name from me. What 9 out of 10 No 9 as in no. Come on, let's do some albums.
All right. We had one pretty big album release this time 20 years ago. Michelle Williams, do you know?
Is that Michelle Williams? Not the.
Actor not the.
No, no, the Destinys child.
The the yes, who I thought might have been mish over in the UK saying all this time, but no Michelle Destiny, Destiny's Child, Michelle Williams, do you know it's her second solo studio album.
That's another. Ah, that's that's confusing.
It's a mix of gospel, R&B, inspirational R&B. She's the. One that is. More of that gospel style singer of trio.
Religious, religious. Well, I do believe that the Christian music market in America outsells pretty much everything else. It's humongous over there.
Does this.
He is here. We will do.
I picture Guy Sebastian singing about Hillsong.
Yes, I dare say he's done.
Yes, ohh straight up.
A cover or. Is she a different religion? Are you allowed to? If you're doing Christian rock? Does it matter? If you're, like, say, Anglican? Can you, if you're Anglican, could you sing a Presbyterian Christian song? Can you can you do that sort of cross like, as far as music goes? Is it just the.
Approach to pregnancy. To you is.
Broad umbrella of Christian.
Yeah, like, well, I mean, in Ireland, you know, Catholic and Protestant, you know?
Or is there the difference? Yeah. Is there the different groups and is, is there some chart rivalry going on between Anglican Christian rock and maybe Presbyterian Christian pop is what's the deal here? I think we need some insights.
Hey I could be like. That well, yes. Imagine Stickability bloodshed at the Battle of the bands. Let's get into some entertainment with movies at the US box office. The number one. This film was massive at the time and is still spoken about in fan circles to this day. It's a time travel film and it's a drama, and it was a bit dark. And it had Ashton Kutcher in it, who at this stage, I think was sort of famous for punk and that 70s Show. And dude, where's my car? And he did this really serious role in this film called the Butterfly Effect.
Remember when we were kids and I used to have those blackouts? Well, some of those memories been coming back to.
Me there are moments in life we choose to remember.
Do you think that we'll be together forever?
And some memories that we can never forget.
All I know is that by. Reading these journals, I might be able to.
Get Kaylee back. I'd think twice about what you're doing. You could wake up a.
Lot more messed up than you are now.
I haven't seen results like this before. But what if you could go back in? You are completely relaxed. Think of it like a movie. You can pause, rewind.
Or slow down.
Could you save the one person that mattered the most?
The and then that that. That that there just went into that version of. That song by stained you. Know well, yeah.
Oh, I thought it was a started black hole. Sun. Ohh what?
No, no, nothing as good as that. I hated this film. I thought it was terrible and but but the audience score for this is like 81 percent, 31% of critics didn't like it. And I'm on the critics side of the.
Because he's so it's time travelling where he blacks out and then while he's blacked out. That he can actually go into the past and change things, so he's helping out his friends. Who've maybe had some things.
And then he comes to, you know, it's the there's different timelines, everything's changed. Everything's changed. It's like this crazy Ashton Kutcher multiverse thing happening. And it's like the the dude that played Randy from my name is Earl is in it. Yeah. And but he's a goth and and he's got, like, black lipstick and eyeshadow.
Go wrong in their youth and. And then he ends up in different spots. I hate time travel movies.
And spiky black hair. It's just it was just a big pile of MTV poo, really and it.
Imagine him as a filth.
Was it was. Dark. It was quite depressing as well, so it got some pretty bad reviews. Somebody said, dude, where's your memory? Said he was the wrong actor to anchor a psychological freak out, Donnie Darko for Dummies and prudes. And time travel for the MTV generation. They have since released the directors cut. I wanna spoil the ending for you for this is this is one of the more disturbing things that I think has been committed to film. So throughout the film. OK. And if you haven't seen it, you wanna see it? Don't listen for the next few minutes or skip forward or something. But I trust me, you're not missing any. Anyway, he he changes everything and and it all. Goes to poo. And then he realises that the only way that he can make things better is if he doesn't exist at all. So he blacks out and time travels to where he is in the womb and chokes himself with his own umbilical cord. And that's how the movie it's revolting. It's so disturbing.
They how did they visually?
Do that. I'm just trying. To think what that would.
It's in the directors cut. Ohh it's it's horrible. It's a horrible scene. So he's in the room and there's diplomatic music, and they're showing the baby and he's wrapping the cord around his neck and the singing on.
Sounds a bit comical.
The outside like quick. And the mum's like, not again, you know, because earlier on, she's like I had X-Men and miscarriages. But you were the one and and all that stuff. And then he decides to commit suicide in the womb. Sorry, that's it's really bad. It's just it's. Just it's not in the best taste. Can I say it was quite because I actually watched the directors cut and there's there are multiple endings to the film and that was the one that stuck out because it was the most disturbing it was.
Horrible. And so do you think he was in that to try and?
Sort of.
Become a bit of a.
Pitch himself as a serious actor like Satz. He's like he's Donnie Darko. He's like, you know, I wanna be like Jake. I don't wanna be this this guy that just makes poo jokes and pulls pranks on my.
To become a bit of an edge Lord. Goofy comedy guy. And how how's punk, mommy?
Friends, I mean you.
Know he's actors. Do that all the time. Comedians always do. It look I I. It just didn't land lots of people. Like I said, I'm on the I'm on the wrong side of it. 81% audience school people still love their local. Oh man, that film was such. A trip. And I'm like you're an idiot. Number one, Speaking of idiots is the Ben Stiller movie along came Polly in the Australian box office.
Alright, over to awards now.
Ohh yes.
It is award season that all the awards are.
It is.
Leading into the Oscars, of course. The big one, yeah.
Happening at the.
Moment. Lots of. Lots of discussion recently, lots of buzz. Around award season.
Ohh, because it was the Golden Globes recently as well.
Umm, yes. And that was it, critics. Choice as well. There's there's been a couple.
Yeah, but, but. The Golden Globes was very controversial because they had that comedian Jo Koy, who because, you know, Ricky Gervais had done the Golden Globes, and his monologues were amazing because he didn't really. And then Joe Coy is this comedian did some jokes and they didn't really land she.
And I think he was sort of a ring in at the last minute and then he. Blamed the writers. That's a bit rude. You can't do that. Sorry.
Yeah, I reckon. I reckon that's a bit lame.
Ohh you need to do. It mate, you tell the jokes you're given.
And he did that. He did the joke about Taylor Swift. Everyone seems to be making fun of Taylor Swift, and I don't think history's gonna be kind to people who make fun of Taylor Swift.
She wasn't impressed at that, was she? You don't wanna mess with Taylor Swift. The Swifties will come after you. And it wasn't even a very funny joke. It was something about the there's gonna be less of her on camera than at it with the game.
I don't think so.
Where her.
NFL thing? Yeah, seeing there too much.
Because she yeah, yeah. She's just like.
At the football, yes. That's dumb. Yeah. And she was done. Yeah. Yeah. She gave a very honest reaction to it, and I think she just reacted.
Still, it was correct.
The same way we were all thinking anyway.
But the 2004 Golden Globes, the six it was the 61st one at well. It was also at the Beverly Hilton Hotel. I think that's where it is every year, right?
It was a different time, 2004. Hmm. Hmm.
What do you think?
The the big movie, the big winner, who would be the big winner? Movie Wise, correct, yes.
Well, I don't have to pay Lord of the. Rings, Lord of the Rings.
Yes, Sean Penn, one and Charlize Theron.
For sure.
With Sean Penn, that would have been for I am Sam, I think at. The time maybe.
I don't know. I didn't really.
I'm pretty sure, and then Charlize Theron won it for that film monster, which is.
Read that bit.
Full on where she plays the serial killer and she had to, she had to put on a bit of weight for that. She had to. She basically changed her appearance. She looked like a completely different person and they called that out on the red carpet, which was a bit rude, I thought.
Yeah. And you actually put on 30 lbs for this role, which I think that's what some of the people were, Nathan. Because you're so beautiful. Did you actually find that people were looking at you?
Well, I was in the Orlando shooting and away from everybody who knew me and you know was.
There's people on the street, though.
Not really, no. I mean, I I wasn't in in this situation where I was constantly surrounded by people. You know, the crew was so small and everybody kind of just got to know me that way. And you know, it was once they kind of saw me and Charlie, that they were kind of like, wait a second. And the person we were just. Working with.
I mean, that was horrible.
That was.
So typical of early 2000s, it reminds me of the Bridget Jones thing as well. Whenever they were interviewing.
It's all about.
Renee, is that ohh you had to put.
How how much they weigh for each role?
On. Ohh gosh, that must have been so horrible for you to put on that weight and you're normally so beautiful. And you had to make yourself ugly.
You never hear them.
Speaking to male actors in that way, it's. Just not. It's not cool. Like you're playing a role and you do what needs to happen to embody that character. End of story. Like, why do you have to make it out to be such?
All right.
Yeah, although I think.
A big deal.
The king of putting on and losing weight would be Christian Bale, and they certainly have talked about him like the like he's to the. Great, but it does seem to become one of those things. It's not UFC like you're not cutting weight for a match like or anything like that, you know?
Yeah, you're you're playing a role and. You're on the red carpet like I think. That was her first. Time on the red carpet, maybe, and she's.
Yeah, possibly.
So excited to be there and that all you. Care about is asking her about her weight.
So she played Aileen Wuornos, a real life character, a serial killer in the film monster. Who just killed a lot of people, the director, Patty Jenkins, too, was it was a fantastic movie and she just completely transformed herself. Like you'd seen Charlize Theron in, I think, was that reindeer games and a couple of other films like that where she is quite beautiful. I mean, she's a very beautiful person and for her to undergo this transformation was incredibly disturbing to see. And not only that, just the way she portrayed the character. And if you look at the side by side comparison of Charlie's playing Aileen, Winos and Aileen Wanos herself, it is. Extraordinary. So I can see why she was up for the Golden Globe for that. And she actually won.
So crazy.
I'm from a farm in South Africa.
This is insane.
OK, great. I wouldn't be up here if it wasn't for one person who took a chance on me. And that is the writer and director of this film, Patty Jenkins.
We don't.
Please so much you can do, but if somebody doesn't give you that chance, there's nothing you can do and you gave it to me and you made me a promise when we started out. And you said no matter what anybody says, we'll stick together and you never broke that promise. And I am sharing this with you. I have to thank all the producers who worked so extremely hard on this film. Brad Wyman, who this movie would probably not have been made if. It wasn't for you. Donald Kushner. Clark Peterson, my producing partner Megan Riley grind of sacrifice. So much to come and make this movie. With me. Everybody at media eight. Oh, no, please. Everybody at them at Newmarket. Bob, burn. You're a genius. You did them possible. You got people to go and.
See this movie.
I have to thank every single person who worked on this film because I couldn't have done it with with all of you, Tony Gee, you transformed me. Everybody. Steve Perry, I have to.
Thank. No, no, no. Please please, I have to thank J Harris, my manager, who always stands by me. You're the best, my mother. Oh my God, you have inspired me. My boyfriend. Every day I get to come home to you, my partner and cry make it to share all of this with you. Who? That's going to all my friends, everybody. Everybody's been so supportive.
Yeah, that's enough.
Thank you so much to the Hollywood. Foreign press. I will never forget this night.
Wrap it up.
Wrap it up, Charlie. They start the player off with the music. It's a yeah. She. I think she was quite surprised that she actually won. And that that. Movie like she's talking there about how you know, people actually went to see it. Those pleasant films that you kind? To go out of your way to see, especially at the cinema as maybe, I mean I've seen it, but I watched it on video, not at the cinema. Yeah. Interestingly though, Ricky Gervais was kicking around the Golden Globes.
This was the I. Think this was the first one that he went to and it was he won. They won a couple of awards for the office and the first time he went up and he wasn't quite sure what he was doing. And then he won the second award.
Ohh my God. Danny DeVito, Michael Douglas. This is ridiculous. Ohh. Thank you so much. Hollywood foreign press. Yeah, I remembered. I've been there before.
He's good.
Two bookends. Excellent. You need to set one looks, you know. Obviously I haven't prepared the speech as you as your guest just milking the time. Really. I want that thing to come up. Get off. Thank you so much who have got to thank. Thank you to Steven Merchant, Co creator. Ashtabula producer John Ploughman Jane Root at the BBC, BBC America and the amazing cast and crew please wrap up. Bye.
And so.
It's a bit different to Charlize. He's just like. Yeah, yeah.
I'll just use up all the time. I've got till the music comes. OK, we're done. And it's funny because that's the first time he's attended and he had to remember cause I think the first time he didn't know it was the the foreign press, whatever they whatever they.
You probably would farm press, yeah.
But it's interesting. We watched his monologue when he was hosting the last one that he hosted, and just how he felt about them at that. Point in time, yes.
Tied off on quite a bit, I mean, but they were the ones that invited him to. Host it in the 1st place so.
Yes, well, you know what you get you.
I mean, the Golden Globes, like the Hollywood foreign press. Like, who are they? Who are they? Like? This is not as voted by you. This is like a small group of people. The Hollywood foreign press that are deciding what's good and what's not and who are they? Books that we have not read. Ah, is this? This is the first books we have not read for. 2000 and 4/20/24.
Ah, well, a bit of a let down we. Had to go into. The the non fiction what? Well, fiction still. Da Vinci Code.
Still, my Dewey decimal system.
Still OK. Yeah, still Da Vinci Code and. I think it is for a while right? So. I thought, well, I'll just jump on the. The old non fix and see what's going.
Yeah. OK, fair enough.
On over there, that's like around.
Yep, Yep. And what have you got?
Ah, my prison without bars by a bloke called Pete Roth.
He's a baseball player. I know who, Pete.
You're familiar with these work.
You ready? OK. Take Me Out to. I didn't know you. No, I'm not. The former professional baseball player Pete Rosen, manager who became one of the sports most accomplished and also controversial figures he played from 1963 to 1986. For the most part with the Cincinnati Reds. Three time World Series champion and 17 time. All Star the. Then, in 1989, he was banned from baseball for life after an investigation concluded that he violated the leagues rules on gambling, including gambling on games involving his own team, the Cincinnati Reds, that he was the manager.
Of at the time.
Wow. So that's a big scandal. So that's that's the back story. Have you got a synopsis of the book? What? What are we gonna?
Get with the book. Pete Rose holds more Major League Baseball records than any other player in history. He stands alone as baseball's hit king, having. Shattered the previously unbreakable record held by Ty Cobb, he is a blue collar hero with the kind of old fashioned work ethic that turned great talent into legendary accomplice fruits. Pete Rose is also a lifelong gambler and sufferer of oppositional defiant disorder. For the past thirteen years, he has been banned from baseball and barred from his rightful place in the Hall of Fame. Accused of violating the MLB's one tattoo Tag Tattoo tattoo, the plane, the plane Taboo Taboo Rule 21 states that no one associated with baseball. Will ever gamble on the game? The punishment is no less than a permanent, barring from all baseball and exclusion from the whole. Flame he has lived in the shadow of his exile. He has denied betting on the game that he loves. He has been shunned by the MLB, investigated by the IRS and served time for tax charges in the US penitentiary in Marion, IL. But he's coming back. Oh, yeah. Pete Rose has never been forgotten by the fans. Loved him throughout his 24 year career, the men he played with have stood by him in this, his first book since his very public. All from grace. He speaks with great candour about all the outstanding questions that have kept him firmly in the public eye. He discloses what life was like behind bars, discusses the turbulent years of his exile, and gives a vivid picture of his early life and baseball career. He also confronts his fans, tackling the ugly truths about his gambling and his behaviour. My prison without bars. Is Pete Rose's full accounting of his life? No one thinks he's perfect. He has made mistakes, big ones, and he is finally ready to admit them.
Yes, what do you expect? Nonfiction, right. Ah. Chris Schaffer, one star.
Three strikes. You're out in the. Old book. What a.
God awful book. My prison without bars could have described my feelings while reading it. Poe, one star. Any book that features a grammatical error in the very first sentence.
Ohh dear. Ohh wow.
Needs to be pulled from shelves and reprinted correctly, yes.
Yeah, that would bother you, wouldn't it? I mean, he's a baseball player. He's not a thespian.
You have edited.
Yes. Hmm, not paying attention. Clearly lost me in the first paragraph.
Pay someone to edit it. Attention to attention to detail Pete Rose. How are you ever a good gambler? I like Dennis two star. So Dennis, two star is actually giving us a connection to IRL Pete Rose. He has an experience IRL with him and instead of reviewing the book, he decides to tell us about his experience and tell us about the kind of man that Pete Rose was when he met him in in real life.
Right.
In 1984, Pete Rose got traded to the Montreal Expos, who held their spring training every. Much at Municipal Stadium here in my hometown of West Palm Beach, FL. As a young man who ate, slept, and breathed baseball, this was a dream come true. Pete was the man for a lot of US youngsters. I practically lived at the stadium, ******** foul.
Balls. Ohh. I beg your pardon.
OK, I don't know we needed to know that. Cracked bats autographs. You name it. Early one March day whilst I was walking around the perimeter of the stadium I session.
Question do you have to crack a bat before you **** a bowl?
I think so.
OK.
I I think that yes, I think. That's the the right way to. Do it. That's the correct the correct sequencing.
Us Australians no idea how this sport works, yes.
I saw #14 himself, so #14's obviously rose. Taking batting practise in one of the cages. Behind the main field. Wow. Seeing the hit king taking. B dot P dot what's that mean? I don't know. Certainly was a thrill and a tad surreal. There were maybe one or two other young fans. They're watching him. After he finished, he came out of the cage and we young fans held out our tops baseball cards to be signed. I always slept a bag filled with cards of greys and Expos players with me to the stadium, plus a few sharpies. Very smart meals, yes, I was the first fan.
Smart move. Move. He's played this game before.
He encountered the card was a 1977 Topps Red Sweet Phillies, three in a row featuring Pete. Rounding second card number 277. For those playing at home. Pete comes out ioffer the card and Sharpie cap off. Of course, Pete says I ain't going to sign. That taken aback, I say, why not? Pete says cause when you're 18, you're going to turn around and sell that thing for big money. So I reply of. That's why with you. Yes. So I figure I ain't getting an autographed card from Mr Tim at this point. So I dig in my trusty bag and find my March 1983 Sports Illustrated with him. Joe Morgan and Tony Perez on the cover that he signs and surprisingly, didn't charge me for the autograph. But I was still a little asked about why he wouldn't sign. The card. And then it goes into. The authors embellishment. So Dennis, two star decides to create his own. Ending to this story.
Right.
As I started to walk away and muttered under my breath prick. But then I stopped and slowly turned back to Charlie Hustle. Peter, Edward Rose, I said. He looked up at me. His eyes widened. May you never get into the baseball Hall of Fame. I gave him the. Evil eye forked my fingers at him and spat on the ground, twice invoking the agent Gypsy curse. My great grandfather had taught me back in the old country, Queens, new. York, to be precise. Then I slowly turned back and walked over to Andre. At least that guy signed cards and the. Rest, as they say, is history.
Wow, Pete Rose.
Dennis two star.
Cursed by Dennis, two star. That's a big claim to fame. And just like that, where the hatches matches and dispatches segment already flown by this show. Yes, it's flown by like the Opportunity Rover.
And the whale carcass, after a stick of Dynamos.
Like chunks of blubber fleeing.
Through the hourglass.
These are the anyway. Yeah, let's just do this. The hatches matches and dispatches clue this week is a person who is having a birthday.
You know, I just didn't want to be gay. Honestly, I just didn't want. To be a lesbian.
If you said Portia De Rossi. You would be correct.
Or you could also say Amanda Lee Rogers. Or you could also say Portia Lee James.
DeGeneres. Yes. Helen's wife. She was born in Horsham, Vic, and she reinvented herself by the age of 15, adopting the name Portia De Rossi. That's that's foresight. That's yeah.
That's a very early reinvention, isn't it?
It's a great name. Portia. I do like it.
It is a good name.
What was it name?
After it was something like a play or something. Shakespeare.
There's a Chinese restaurant in Kingston, Porsche's place.
No, it's not named after the Chinese.
It's good. Food, yes.
It it is very good but. She's not named after the Chinese restaurant. No, might have been. Might have been shake a Shakespeare play, some sort of play? Her first significant role was as a young and impressionable maid in the Australian 1994 film.
Big fan of the prawn crackers there, great prawn crackers. No. Well, that's ruined it for me. Yeah.
From Siren, just ask any dad. Wasn't that? Wasn't that a dad's favourite? Ohh.
Ohh sirens. Because you got. To see all Mcpherson's ***** in.
About, about, about. Norman Lindsey. It's about us. Yeah, gotta watch. That sirens. Dad's loved it.
Yes, yes. So you can see Elle Macpherson's *****.
Elle Macpherson and Fisher.
With Kate, Peter and unfortunately nothing. Yeah. Yep.
Portia De Rossi, yes. 1998 she joined the cast of Ally Mcbeal and that that was kind of where she really sort of broke big time. She was Neil Porter on the show until 2002. And then our favourite from 2003 to 2006, she played Lindsey Bluth. How do?
I love hearing this role.
You say the full name.
Ohh it's just thought it was Lindsey Bluth. Anyway Arrested Development. Yeah.
Arrested Development. So was she. She was married to to buy it, something she never knew.
Tobias. Yeah. Yeah. Never heard who joined the Blue Man Group as well. Yeah. Anyone. She became gay anyway. She was in scream two. She was in the night. We called it a day. Nip tuck room. That show. Nip tuck. That was a good show scandal. And she's also been on Family Guy. She's done some voiceovers on family.
Yes, yes, yes.
And Doc Mcstuffins love doc mcstuffins.
I hope she played an Aussie toy. I hope she got to use her Australian accent for that.
Gossip sentence.
Maybe a kangaroo or something?
I'm trying to remember the theme song. I've kind of blocked it out because our son used. To watch it all the. Time it was like.
The doctor is in.
Yeah, something like that. Yeah. Yes. I don't know. And she used to. Well, Doc Mcstuffins used to repair toys that were.
Injured. Yeah. Something that something big in the the dock is in great show. Great show and she.
He's a toy doctor. The dock is in, you know, someone else who was in was Ellen DeGeneres.
Was on it.
Because Ellen DeGeneres married Portia De Rossi on the 16th of August in 2008. Yes, yes, this is pretty cool. And of course, she brought on the show and they had a chat about it.
Hey, Portia. Hey, Ellen. So we've been married. This is our 7th month anniversary. Today, isn't it?
It's OK.
And so.
And I'm going to treat you like any other guest who just got married. I would say. How's how's Married life for you?
I I think it's going pretty good.
Are you enjoying being married to me?
Yes, yes, I am, yeah.
Look at that.
Ah, poor old Ellen. I think I I was saying to you before, when I when I got that grab that I I feel like because of the water under the bridge with Ellen DeGeneres. Now it's like. Ohh, isn't that a narcissistic thing to do, you know?
Yeah, but then I said to you, but when you think about the all of her comedy and what was the show that she used to be on? With the bookshop and the coffee, what was? It called. Hell was called Ellen. OK, that makes that.
I think it was called that one. Yeah. Yeah. All the shows I think have been called Ellen. I don't know if that was called Ellen.
Makes a lot of sense, that is.
But anyway, yes, I understand the show.
But that was always. That was always her. Style of comedy.
Yes, awkward.
Was that me? Ah, yeah. Uncomfortable. Awkward. Yeah. So I I, actually.
Here I am.
You think that was just her style? But yes, through the lens of everything that has come out about her show, people would be you would look at that and go. Oh, jeez, you're up yourself, aren't you?
I I don't wanna. I mean, I'm diverting from Porsche a little bit here, but I don't. I kinda and I've said this before when we were talking about the dummy spit that Casey Cason was having the other week. I really do sympathise with people who are the ones that are at the end of the assembly line and are.
Well, the face, the face of it, yes.
The face of. The they're the ones that are making themselves. Honourable to the audience, and they're the ones that have to back up the standard. That they're being held to.
Well, now the complaints are addressed to them, aren't they? And and they're the ones that the nasty stuff is said about across the social. So they are the they are, yeah. The the face of the show. I I understand in yeah some respects.
You know. I do too, and as a consequence, from now on, before we do the podcast, I would appreciate it if you didn't make eye contact with me for the the. Whole day, that would be good.