T minus 20
The year is 2005... Anakin turns to the dark side, YouTube makes its debut and we’re all couch-jumping for Maria, McDreamy and The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo…
T minus 20, rewind to this week in history 20 years ago with Joe and Mel.
T minus 20
Summer programming: best bits of 2005 vol 3
🧃 Belle Gibson enters Mel’s comments section
In one of the most unexpectedly cursed timeline moments of the year, Mel gets fact-checked by Belle Gibson — yes, that Belle Gibson — after she jumps into Mel’s Instagram comments to correct something she said. A wellness grifter policing accuracy is peak internet irony and a reminder that sometimes the comments section really is the wild west. No green juice was harmed but Mel’s disbelief absolutely was.
🐊 The internet’s first viral earworm (thanks, Schnappi)
Before TikTok, before YouTube ads, before your sanity… there was a dancing cartoon crocodile singing in German. We revisit Schnappi, the accidental global hit that proved the internet could launch nonsense into the stratosphere — and never look back.
🎧 Boomer ASMR: guess that nostalgic sound
From dial-up tones to Windows error dings, we play the most chaotic game imaginable — identifying tech and pop culture relics by sound alone. It’s soothing, triggering and wildly humbling for everyone involved.
⚛️ Did we almost create a black hole?
Remember when the world briefly panicked that a particle collider might end existence as we know it? Same. We revisit the week science headlines went full apocalypse and somehow lived to tell the tale.
💔 Delta, Brian McFadden and peak tabloid side-eye
A sharp rewind to the moment Australian pop culture turned extremely judgmental, as Delta Goodrem found herself unfairly labelled a homewrecker. A reminder that 2005 tabloids had absolutely no chill.
🕊️ A pope dies, smoke rises and the world watches
White smoke, black smoke and global anticipation as the Vatican farewells Pope John Paul II. A rare moment when the entire planet paused to watch a chimney.
Hang with us on socials to chat more noughties nostalgia - Facebook (@tminus20) or Instagram (tminus20podcast). You can also contact us there if you want to be a part of the show.
Transcript is generated automatically.
The year is 2005. Anakin turns to the dark side. YouTube debuts and we couch jump for Mariah, McDreamy and a girl with a dragon tattoo. T-minus 20. Rewind 20 years with Joe and Mel. Week of 1 January 2006. T-minus 20. Hey, what do you think this is a talk show? It's an icebreaker. Don't judge me yet. This is bananas. Now you will come home. My question is, who approved that? Do you see where this is going? Not really.
Last time we spoke, it was Merry Christmas. Now it's Happy New Year. Can you believe it? Welcome to T-minus 20. If this is your first time joining us, oh dear. That's not great because we're in summer programming at the moment. Don't judge. No, we're this podcast that goes back in time like 20 years to the year. Well, it's not even 2005, it's 2006 now, but we haven't got all of our production elements together with your hosts, Joe and Mel.
Hello, everybody. Yes, this is the best bits of our year that was 2005.
Yeah, that's right.
And something that I love for 2005 for us, something we discovered and we made part of the show. little concept that we like to call booming.
Oh, you want to do that now?
I think we should.
Okay.
It's a new year boom.
Wow. Colour me surprised. I did not expect you to be opening the boom box this early in the show.
Well, I've just, because you know, you're on leave and you just doom scroll. And I've just come across an array of booms.
And I think we.
Should rewind to the origin of the boom. And it started when we were playing, Selwyn was in the chart. Oh, no, he had an album. I don't know. We were looking for Selwyn.
This guy.
That guy. And we were looking for him and wondering what had happened. And then we discovered he had a song called Boomin that you got on a CD single for free when you bought something from JJ's.
That's right.
That we like to call for JJ's, but it's JJ's.
It's just JJ's, yes. And I go back to Gooch week.
You said, you said, that sounds like something that old people yelling at clouds do. That sounds like a verb. That's a doing word for complaining about the world and technology.
As something that a boomer would do to complain. But I also want to say that it wasn't a criticism.
No, and then we opened it up and we thought, no, look, I think it's just anything. I think as a Gen X or Xennials or Millennials, I think we've all got lots of complaints to make about the state of the world. I don't think they're there quite yet, but look, if they want to come along and boom, they're more than welcome.
No, **** those guys. They're not invited.
I'm not going to exclude anyone, but I think I've definitely reached that age when. and something happens and I'm like, I'm not learning that. Like the microwave at work, we've got a new microwave at work.
So you don't want to learn the microwave?
Like, I'm not learning that. Fair enough. I'm just going to use the other microwave with all the caked in food, whatever, because I'm not learning that.
You're going with what you know.
Yeah, exactly.
It's very boomy of you.
I have reached peak boom. So I thought I'd bring some because I've come across a nice little nest of booms.
Yes, and look, well, before you open the nest or raid the nest or whatever you're going to do to the nest, this is the the place where you, the listener, can submit a boom, if you like, as well. If you find T-minus 20 podcast searching on the socials, you can give us your boom as well. Yes. Anyway, carry on. Let's head up to the nest.
Well, we've got a little bit of a theme for the nest.
Right.
We're talking on hold messaging or IVR or the automated phone thingy.
Oh, this is, yeah, okay. Well, this is peak boom boom material. Okay.
This one is from Asher Perlman.
Nice boomer name, Asher Perlman.
Asher Perlman. Please listen carefully as our menu options have changed. Asher says, thanks for letting me know, for I had memorized your previous menu options.
Wow. Doesn't that IVR have tickets on itself? You think you're that important that I would remember your menu options?
There are a lot that do that.
Do you remember? When was the last time you remembered a menu option?
Correct. But there are a lot of things when you phone up a lot of companies, they do say that.
Well, I guess it's because, like, maybe if you're like, especially if it's a complaint line and like.
And maybe you're like 9.
Or a serial boomer. And then you're just like, you have that sequence. So you don't even need to wait for the prompt. You're just like, and you're straight through.
Oh, wouldn't you be mad if they did change the menu options?
Yeah, and then they change the menu options and then you're like, well, now I've got something else to complain about.
Put me through to the complaints. Okay, Lori Voss also has some feelings.
Fire away, Lori.
Nothing to drive me into a murderous rage than spending 30 minutes in a phone queue to perform a task that cannot be completed on the website while a recorded voice reminds me every 30 seconds that the website is convenient and fun. Oh my God.
That's so annoying. If I could do.
It on the website, I wouldn't be calling.
Exactly.
I would not be calling because I don't like speaking to people anymore.
Laurie struck a nerve.
Laurie has.
Yes.
Do we have time for one more?
All right, one more.
Kit Yates.
Kit Yates.
Kit Yates.
OK, Kit.
I'm sorry, but you can't always be experiencing a higher volume of calls than average. That's not how averages work.
That's right. Higher than average is not. Yeah, what?
Menu options have changed and higher than average. That is very common when you ring places, isn't it? Particularly this time of year when you've got all the sales or people are on leave as well. You get a lot of those on hold messages and you're waiting a while.
Your call is important to us. Bullsh*t. Me and all the other people, listen, just very quickly too, some of the best bits, you get fact-checked by Belle Gibson in this show.
Oh, wasn't that a good time.
Yeah, that was a good time. Remote whistle finders from the Innovations catalogue.
Oh, yes, when they found Snappy the Crocodile. Oh, Delta, our Delta.
Delta and Brian. Yes. I didn't realise she was a villain, but she was, we loved Delta in Australia, but they didn't like her because of Brian and their relationship.
Oh, Snappy.
Yes, Schnappy, Schnappy the Crocodile, which means crocodile. Storming the German charts. We talk about some of your wonderful voiceover resume, which is.
Oh, yes, does include IVR. I do say our menu options have changed A lot.
And holy smokes, a new Pope as well. Look at that. All that to look forward to. Enjoy.
How do you feel about vegans?
Vegans.
Yeah. Do you have a problem with vegans?
I have respect for vegans. I respect their choice. I think it's very, it's very hard to be a vegan.
I'd like to be a vegan, but I'm too lazy. I was just, you know... It's like egg-like powder and you've got to mix all these ingredients to equal an egg.
Yeah, they do a lot of things. They do do a lot of things where they try and make their food resemble food that is not vegan, which I find strange.
Yes, they're trying to make it taste like meat.
I guess there's some kind of psychological barrier.
They always have really nice eyebrows. Vegans.
Do they?
Yeah, I've always been impressed by the eyebrow game as a vegan.
Really? Is it kind of a cocked eyebrow or is it a condescending eyebrow? No, they're just not.
They're just.
I think it takes a lot of discipline to be a vegan and I think you cop a lot of crap for being one. But the thing is, you could always just, suffer in silence like the rest of us.
I fell onto the vegan bandwagon. This is not so much T-minus 20, this is more for the T-minus 10 podcast. I fell onto the vegan bandwagon, yeah, around 10 years ago, maybe a little bit, probably a little bit more now. Yeah, you ended up.
How long did that take? You were vegan for a week.
No, I was just following along because here's the thing. I bought a Vitamix and they're bloody expensive.
Yes, they are. They're the blender.
But do vegans know how to blend the sh*t out of anything?
Well, that's because maybe if I blend it really hard, it'll start to develop the sort of texture of meat. Yeah.
They do know their way around a blender. I got sucked into veganism, but also Probably one of the biggest scammers of the last 10 or so years who has just had the Netflix series drop. Belle Gibson.
Yes.
I got caught up in Belle Gibson's.
What's the name of the Netflix series?
Apple cider vinegar.
Apple cider vinegar.
I think that's what the vegans drink it. It's supposed to do something.
Yes.
So please don't listen to anything we say and do and do it because I don't, yeah, I'm not a health professional.
I don't want this to be a. I don't want this to be a pile on for vegans.
No, absolutely not. No, and look, she wasn't she wasn't putting herself out there as a vegan, but I think she was eating that vegan lifestyle, clean eating, no meat, no dairy, but more in terms of... her, what she called her health journey, which we now discovered to be untrue.
Yes.
The cancer claims and she was eating her way out of cancer.
Belle Gibson's health journey was built on a foundation of ********.
Yes, so she probably ate meat too, to be honest. Anyway, I started following her not because of the health claims and what she was talking about, but because she knew a way around Vitamix and she made some fabulous smoothies. Yeah, And so I downloaded her app.
I think it's really nice that you're pointing out something that Belle, I mean, Belle Gibson was good at a couple of things.
Vitamixing.
Lying and vitamixing. And I like that you're focusing on the vitamixing stuff.
I actually, though, here's the thing, and I forgot about this because I've been wanting to watch the series, but I just haven't gotten around to it because I'm lazy. I'm lazy, so I'm not a vegan, so I haven't watched the series. I'm lazy. I've got other things going on. But I I just remembered the other day that I got yelled at on Instagram by Belle Gibson.
She yelled at you in text form on the Insta.
Yes.
Wow.
Because I downloaded her app because I wanted to make some things in the Vitamix.
Yes.
And I've got the book. Because she's got the book.
Oh, the whole pantry.
So this book came out.
The whole truth.
Well, this book came out a few months before all the lies unravelled. I think she was going to print at the time when we started to get suss on her, but I still bought it. because I thought, Vitamix and it's a big investment and I want to make some recipes.
I mean, just because you're a pathological liar doesn't mean you don't know your way around Vitamix.
Look at the artwork, look at the artwork and then.
There's like a cookbook.
There's some pretty illustrations. It's a very nice looking cookbook. Should I keep it? Like, is this is it unethical to retain my copy or should I burn it? I don't know what to do here.
I think we should try.
Maybe it's worth money.
I wonder if we could get it signed.
I think she did sign it. Did she sign it?
No.
I think she's got a, there's a signature in there, but it was printed in there. Anyway, so I've got the, I've got the cookbook and I had the app as well. And I didn't, I purposely didn't update the app because I didn't want it to disappear because I liked the recipes on it, but I knew it was removed from the App Store when it was all uncovered.
She had an app.
Yeah, the whole pantry.
Wow. Okay, yeah, right.
Anyway, do you remember I made the vegan peanut butter cups?
Vitamix. Yeah. They tasted like carob and dates.
Everything, that you make in a Vitamix that's vegan tastes like carob and dates. And avocado. They put avocado in a lot of unexpected.
What's that other one? Cacao.
Well, there was cacao in it.
Yeah.
So anyway, I made them. And this is on my old Instagram. So when you try to.
You burn an Instagram account.
No, my personal one, but 10 years, you're always talking about you go back and you read your Facebook posts and you're embarrassed. So I dug back through and I was like, oh.
I'm getting suss on you for just having an old Instagram account. Like you're starting to sound a bit like Belle Gibson here.
Anyway, I made, I made, I made the fraudulent peanut butter cups.
Yes.
And I posted them and I tagged her because she was at healing underscore Bell. That was Belle Gibson.
Right.
At Healing Bell. And so I tagged her because I arranged her.
Everyone needs a healing underscore in their life just quietly. I could do with a healing underscore.
Healing, healing.
Pop a little healing underscore in between my first and last name.
Well, it was because she was healing herself through food. That's why she called a self-healing.
But don't underestimate the healing power of the underscore.
The underscore. It is a bit soothing, isn't it?
Yes.
What about an M dash?
Less that's more interrupting. It's actually a bit more obtrusive.
Anyway, so I've made them and I've put them on a nice.
So you've made the Bell Gibson whole pantry peanut butter cups with carob and.
I can't remember what they were called. I was hoping they'd be in this book, but they're not.
It's not in there.
But there is some spiced pumpkin seed brittle that actually looks really good.
She's pretty brittle these days, or is that bitter?
Anyway, so I made them and I arranged them really nicely because this is the Instagram days where you, tried to good lighting.
And a little flat lay of you.
Put it on a yeah, put it on a wooden shopping board and I stacked them and I took a bite out of one and you know it's kind of seeping out. It looks very artistic and.
I think I've got better teeth than you.
Do actually. But yeah, it was I think I put like the Paris filter on. Anyway, so I put it up there and a friend of mine goes, wow, they look really good. And so then I respond to my friend and I say, OMG, intense sugar rush, exclamation mark, exclamation mark, but oh, so good, exclamation mark. Healing Bell enters the chat.
She's chipped you. She's fact checked. You've been fact checked by Belle Gibson. Oh my God.
She has entered the chat.
Pot meat kettle.
I can promise you that's not sugar, comma, that's cacao, dot, dot, dot. It's powerful mind stuff. Full stop. Enjoy **.
Cacao is powerful mind stuff. Yeah, rack yourself up a line of cacao. I thought you were going to say that's not sugar, it's cocaine.
This one, I reckon actually, now you've said innovation. I reckon this would have featured in the Innovations catalogue. Remember that catalogue?
Absolutely.
Remember that year that I decided that I was going to challenge myself to buy everyone's Christmas present from the Innovations catalogue. I don't think anyone likes their presents. I'm not surprised. I do like that catalogue.
That's very ambient. It's a rock that I can put a house for you.
They had that. They were very big on meerkats.
Oh, I know. A shelf that I can put over the top of the toilet and store books and other knickknacks in it. I think they'd love that.
I liked the little wheel out trolley that you could fit in the tight spaces as well. Like you could put it in the gap next to your fridge in the wall and you could roll it out. An extra pantry with some cans in it.
A thing with two handles and an upholstered pad at the bottom of it that I can kneel on while doing the gardening.
Yeah. Yes, they also dabbled in the touch lamp.
Oh, the touch lamp.
They had touch lamps as well. Not as good as copper art, but close.
You might get a shock off a touch lamp for that. Not that I'm saying no. I think that every item that you get from the Innovations catalogue is a quality item and it's probably all under warranty and they put their seal of approval and their guarantee on it. So don't want the Innovations people coming after me. No.
This wasn't in the Innovations catalogue. It should have been. Are you sure?
Are you sure?
It might be today.
I reckon it was.
It might be today.
I think it was.
Yeah, so this was something that was really handy if you were always losing your remote control.
Right, your TV remote.
Yes, we had a solution for it this week, 20 years ago.
Yeah.
You just whistled. Yes, they had. I remember, I actually don't think this is that innovative for the Innovations Catalogue, because I remember in the 80s you had something like that you could put on your keys. My uncle had one.
The key ring.
My uncle had one. He used to whistle to find his keys all the time.
Beep beep beep beep. And you don't even know where it is.
And I thought, wow, that's.
Yeah. Oh, you do it now with like, you know, with your phone where you like, if you got the phone picked up to your watch and you ping it like that, right? So yeah. I think I just woke the dog up, sorry, as you were. Go back to sleep. Just go back to sleep, it's fine.
Yeah, so it's this thing and you stick it on the remote and then when you can't find your remote, you give it a little whistle and it does a beep and it lights up. And it even came with a plastic whistle in case you couldn't whistle yourself, in case you're one of these people that can't.
A plastic whistle.
Well, some people can't whistle.
So like a dog whistle type thing?
Yeah, I guess so. But I was looking online because I wanted to see if they still made it.
Yes.
And the good news is you can still buy, well, probably an iteration of it. It's called the Whistle and Beep Remote Control Locator 3 pack on catch.com.au. It's a three-pack, so you can stick the whistle on different remotes, or maybe you could stick it on something else that you're always losing. What else are you losing? Your keys or your phone or something?
I don't lose anything.
Just whistle and find.
Do you do a different whistle for each remote? Like...
Oh, do you have to tune it differently? I don't, I have no idea. I don't care.
Maybe it's like a for the house keys and it's like...
Maybe you have to do one with your fingers. That's the hardest whistle of them all. Were you ever able to do that? I could do it with my little fingers, but I knew someone that could do it with like those two fingers. So then they had effectively 4 fingers in their mouth. It was very loud.
That sounds more like a status thing than anything. That's weird. I think that somehow the remote boat kind of put it out of business. Because rather than.
That was in the innovations catalogue.
Rather than having to whistle like an animal around the house, you just put your remote somewhere where you're not going to lose it.
Yes, that's way more classy. And then they had the one that went over the armrest. It's the pocket, and you'd place them in the pocket over the armrest.
That's the beauty of the technology in the innovation segment on this program. We don't discriminate.
Maybe we should review the innovations catalogue each week.
Oh, now you're talking. You want to, you've put something in here.
We haven't been to the German charts for a while, and we do still have our listener from Hess.
Do we?
Despite numerous attempts at getting the beginning contact.
That is retention, if I do say so myself. That is retention. Every week.
Every week. Very dedicated. They don't download on the day of release. It's usually a couple of days later.
They seek us out.
A couple of days later, there's a download from Hess.
Well, this is this next part of the segment is dedicated to you, listener from Hess.
This is for you, Hessonian. Maybe you could still just send us a send us a message. That'd be good. Just a bit of proof of love.
That'd be really helpful.
Well, they're obviously alive for downloading a couple of days later. It's not an automatic download. So, listener from Hess, your number one song this week, 20 years ago, was this. Sneeze, snap, snap, snap, snap. Sneeze, snap, snap, snap, snap. It's been snap.
Not going to lie, when I'm in meetings and I'm sort of tuning out.
You hear that song?
That's pretty much what I hear in my head as the words coming out of the person's mouth is talking. It's just like, it's like, well, you know, our KPIs are looking pretty good this month and I'm just gone. I'm gone. You lost me at KPIs. Actually, you lost me at well. And that's the end of the meeting. Oh my god, has it been an hour?
Do you remember this song though? Do you remember?
Yes, it was weird.
I remember it went crazy.
It's very, you know, since I downloaded it and put it into the thing so that we could use it on the podcast, it has been stuck.
It's been shnapping around in your mind.
It's been shnapping in my brain. It's the whole time, all afternoon, it's driving me insane.
Great, it's great, and it drove us insane 20 years ago because it was not only the number one in Germany, it became this viral sensation. So it's called Snappy Dusklein Crocodile, which is the small crocodile.
Yes.
Snappy is his name-o. It was probably one of the first kind of... viral online songs and it kind of started to go viral before YouTube.
This is like.
It was something that people emailed around and it was in forums.
The precursor to the hamster dance or the crazy frog or maybe the crazy frog was before. I think the crazy frog was before Snuppy.
But he was ringtone.
Baby shark, you know.
Yes, exactly. And then the mother OG. It was a children's song featured on a German kids' TV show called Die Sendang Mit der Maus, which is called The Show with the Mouse.
If you're going to do it, like it's Die Sendang Mit der Maus.
OK, yeah, that's much better. Thank you.
We will ask the question.
The show with the mouse. Performed by Joy Grutmann, who was only nine years old at the time, tells the story of a little crocodile named Grootmann. Schnappy, who hatches from an egg and starts exploring the world. People loved it, and it was never meant to be released as a single, but they went, Oh, what are we going to do?
That's an excuse to make some money, dear.
And then it just went crazy. And it was big here in Australia. It did chart over here. And I remember the little green cartoon crocodile dancing around in the video clip. Also big in Austria and Switzerland. They love a crocodile song in Switzerland. And like I said, probably one of the first viral hits of the online era. And it spread through online forums, downloads, email. It was remixed. Remember there was a techno version of it for the club.
Of course.
And it was one of those, I guess it falls in the novelty camp and people either loved it or hated it, but everybody knew what it was.
They really loved it.
Yeah.
Yes. And then of course it got controversial. Things got a bit heated later on because there was a bit of a diss track and there was beef with Steve Irwin. I made that last bit up. I was about to go, really? You didn't know that? I just made that up.
Oh, okay. I'd like to test you. I'd like to test. I'd like to test your knowledge.
I haven't been tested for a while. Well, not for anything good anyway.
I want to test you. I stumbled across... something on the socials called the Gen X ASMR Blindfold Challenge.
Oh, ASMR. See, you've already lost, I didn't even, I took me, I was so late to the party on ASMR.
ASMR.
I don't know what it stands for, but I do know that it's just.
Audio Sensory Meridian Response.
Wow, there you go. And all I know is this.
It's where people put paper clips in jars and flick rubber bands and they breathe.
Or just chew food.
All the lasagna gone.
Yes, and honestly, like I just.
Remember that? And it was really wet.
It's really gross. Remember that? Yeah, the wet lasagna. And he's famous. Yeah, and it was a thing that was trendy for a while there, and are we over it now? I don't know.
Well, this is not, this is not... really ASMR. It's basically noises.
But the response is the goosebumps, the goosebumps and the hair standing on the back.
So the idea is Gen Xs will get the goosebumps because these are sounds that they all should know. So I'm going to play you.
Most Gen Xs haven't had them for a while.
I'm going to play you some sounds, some Gen X ASMR, and your challenge is to say what's creating said sound.
Okay, this will be interesting because I have all the sound stuff in front of me, but you're going to do this up on your phone.
Is there an end of my phone that's better to put to the microphone? I don't know where the sound comes out of my phone. Where does the sound come out?
I think it's the bottom. Sound comes out of the bottom when you're a Gen Xer more than anywhere else as well.
Are we ready?
Yes.
Okay.
Come on. I know exactly what that is.
What is it?
That's putting a tape into a video cassette recorder.
It is. Give yourself a ding.
Thank you very much.
Okay, are you ready for #2 Gen X ASMR?
Okay, yes.
Here we go.
Yep. What is this like a... Sorry.
I'm talking, you've just missed it. Now I've got to try and rewind something on this. Yeah, it is to rewind a reel.
This is very difficult. So whose real is this? We should give credit to the channel.
I don't know until the end. I'll have to jump back in at the end. You have to wait. This is very difficult. I'm having to thumbo it all the way back to the start. Now, can you stop talking?
Yep, ready to go. Standing by.
Do you want to hear it again?
Yes, please. That is... Can I have it one more time? Okay. Give me a hint, just a very tiny hint. I think I know what it is. Do you mean hint?
It's orange and you look into it.
Oh, that's too much of A hint.
Oh, what is it?
It's the view master.
Yes.
You know the thing and you put the little wheel. Yes, you flick it around. I didn't think you get that.
So I was being generous with it.
Way too generous. I thought I knew what it was. And as soon as you said it was orange, I was like, yep.
Okay, ready for the next?
Yeah, Okay, here we go.
Stop talking.
Yes. That's just the TV after midnight.
Yes, it's a box TV.
See, it's got the box TV tube television.
That's what our son calls the box TV.
And basically what happens is, like... At after about 12, maybe if you're lucky one or two in the morning, they'll do a little end of thing message and then it's just white noise until 5am or 6am or whenever the breakfast is.
TV goes to sleep.
Yeah. Okay, I know.
We've got one more. Are you ready?
Oh, one more. You ready? Oh my gosh, sure. Oh.
Would you like it again?
Yes, please. Something releases at the end of that. Give me a hint, but this time just a tiny hint. I just need a little bit to fire the neural pathways back up. Do you know what I mean? Like I, it's because it's, you can almost picture it like you close your mind's eye and you picture it, it's like blurry. It's like a pixelated image.
Yes. I don't know what to say without giving it away.
Is it a? Is it a?
Ask me a question, yes.
Is it a utensil? Is it a kitchen device?
No.
Is it an entertainment?
Yes.
Entertainment device.
Yes.
Is it loading a Walkman?
Yes. I didn't think you'd get that one. So he's putting a cassette in it and then he was ejecting it back out.
Yes, I said that's why I said something was being released.
Released. You're right.
Yes, there we go. Look at that.
You got it all. So this.
Was that Gen X ASMR?
It was Gen X ASMR. So it's from an account called AARP, which is a journey through the lives of Generation X. I'm going to give them a sneaky follow. I think that's right in our wheelhouse, isn't it?
Well, we've endorsed them now, so let's hope they stay the course and don't turn into, I don't know.
No scandals or anything like that.
Need any weird influences?
They seem quite wholesome.
Well, as a Gen Xer, bordering on a boomer, I'm very wary about my social media. There was an ion collider. at the Relativistic Heavy Ion Collider Particle Accelerator in Upton in New York.
Relativistic. That does not feel like a real one.
And there was a physicist, there was a physicist called Horatio Nastasi or Nastase or Nastase, depending on what side of Canberra you live on, who thought that he might have I was like, oh, I might have created that. I don't know about you, but I've seen that Disney movie when I was a kid about the black hole. And then I did some black hole stuff in science, like just some high level stuff, you know, helicopter view.
Did you make one?
Helicopter view of science when I was doing science.
It was in a textbook.
Yeah. Okay, great. And I was in high school. It's a bit immature. I might have been drawing on quite a few things in the textbook, if I'm being honest. But It's, but I know what I knew what black holes were, and to hear that this guy had nearly created one, I was like, Why would somebody, why the f*** would you want to do that? just sounds like not a good thing to do.
Sounds dangerous.
This bloke had proposed, Horatio proposed that a theoretical model suggesting that the collisions at the heavy ion collider in early 2005 could have created conditions similar to a black hole, but not the way we kind of think of it. But I just, you need to know, I guess, how all this comes together. We need to get a little bit sort of I mean, we pale in comparison to Dean and Rob, really. I mean, I can't do the moustache and you've got better hair, so.
I have a bit of a mo. I think some FAQs are what we need, to be honest. Yes, some FAQs, because that's what I always do when I don't understand things. Where's your FAQs? Well, what's your first? These are the frequently asked questions.
What's your first cue?
So my first cue is, what's a relativistic, heavy aisle? Ion Collider RHIC question mark.
Thank you, Mel. I'm glad you asked.
This is the Brookhaven National Laboratory in Long Island, home to the Relativistic Heavy Ion Collider, or RIC for short. Here, they recreate matter that filled the embryonic universe one millionth of a second after the Big Bang. In a sense, Rick, it really is a time machine. We're reproducing the conditions that existed in the early universe on the order of 1 microsecond after the Big Bang. Rick fires gold nuclei around a 2 1/2 mile circular tunnel 78,000 times a second, almost the speed of light. Then it smashes them together in a giant star detector.
Sorry, did somebody say Rick? Hey, wrong Rick, wrong Rick. As you would have heard, the particle accelerator, right?
Yes.
That smashes things into each other under extreme conditions to try and simulate conditions like a few seconds before the Big Bang. That's what it is.
Okay, all right.
What could possibly go wrong is my question.
Nothing. What my next FAQ, my next frequently asked question. How How long has the Rick been around? What does it actually do?
Thank you, Mel. I'm glad you asked. So, it's... I think 2000 is when it was operational. And it was to, as I said before, recreate the conditions of the early universe by producing a state of matter called quark gluon plasma, which is this super hot, dense soup of fundamental particles that existed microseconds after the Big Bang. Okay. So what it does is it accelerates. It's a big circle, big massive circle. And it accelerates and collides heavy ions, the particles. It spins them around in this... Like the gravitron. Yes, Okay. But.
Less vomit.
Less vomit, maybe more end of the world stuff. I'm not sure. I think I'm probably being a bit sensationalist and the scientists would be offended by that. But they're heavy ions, these large atomic nuclei stripped of their electrons and they're often gold.
Expensive.
Yes, the nuclei are smashed together at nearly the speed of light, the speed of light, right? Reaching temperatures of over, this is heavy duty, 4 trillion degrees Celsius. It's hotter than the core of the sun. And then that environment breaks down protons and neutrons into the fundamental building blocks, which are the quarks and gluons, and then that forms quark gluon plasma. And since that plasma has existed just microseconds after the Big Bang, studying that quark-gluon plasma helps scientists understand the conditions that led to the formation of matter in the universe. Yes? You have a question.
I have a frequently asked question.
I see your hands up, yes.
I stopped listening halfway through that paragraph. What is quark-gluon plasma?
Thank you, Mel. I'm glad you asked. Quark. Quark. Quark, gluon, plasma. Gluon. Gluon. Gluon. GLQUARKGLUON. Okay. Gluon. No, it's not the dark. Sorry. Yes, quark, gluon, plasma. It's a hot and dense state of matter where quarks and gluons, which are the fundamental building blocks of protons and neutrons, are no longer confined within individual particles. Instead, they move around in this plasma liquidy-like state, similar to how electrons and nuclei exist freely in an ionized gas, like they're kind of just floating around, right? And that is the thing that they think they believe existed straight after the Big Bang, before they cooled down and then they formed the atoms that make up the universe. So it's something that's in a pre-atom state. The quark-gluon plasma is the thing that happens until it cools down and forms an atom, right? So before they had the collider, scientists theorized that quarks and gluons were confined inside protons and neutrons, which is the things in the atoms, right? But Surprisingly, after they did this, they found out that it behaved like a nearly perfect liquid instead of, which means it flowed around with very little viscosity.
I'm surprised, and I have another question.
What's the next question?
What is... Jet quenching.
Well, thank you, Mel. I'm glad you asked. Jet quenching, and I know we didn't kind of cover this, so I think it's very intelligent of you to have actually brought that up. You clearly have done more homework than what you're letting on, I think. Jet quenching is when high energy particles travel through the quark gluon plasma and they lose energy due to interacting with the plasma, which is, and that's that loss of energy and that interaction interaction with the plasma is what they call jet quenching. And this gives them information when they see the jet quenching and they put those high energy particles through the QGP, that's quark gluon plasma, that's the acronym, right? And the energy dissipates, that gives them insights into how these quarks And gluons react in extreme positions, or inter-react, I should say. Yes, what's your question?
So, did Rick create a black hole?
That is, Mel, thank you. I'm glad you asked, because that is the big question, because that's what everyone was going hysterical about at the start. We're circling back.
That's probably at the top of the FAQs. That's probably the most frequently asked questions, but you know we had to get a bit of tension happening.
Anticipation and curiosity as well.
What's the answer?
Well, no. I know, right? It's a massive disappointment. No, it didn't in the conventional sense. So the collisions, though, they did prevent temperatures hotter than those in the core of the sun, that was important, and the plasma behaved like a nearly perfect fluid, it became liquid, but it did not generate what they would call an event horizon or an actual black hole capable of trapping matter or light. Right? Remember what a black hole was? they all matter and light gets sucked into a black hole. It collapses the universe. It feels like it's going to swallow everything around it.
It's not fun.
So it didn't do that. But what's his name? The guy that actually conducted the experiment. Horatio. I feel like we're on a first name basis. We've come this far. His argument was more that it was about mathematical analogy. So he suggested that the plasma behaved in ways similar to dual gravitational descriptions of black holes in string theory. So his work was really theoretical and he didn't imply the formation of actual black holes in the lab. Yes, you've got another, I see your hands up, Mel.
That's disappointing. So if it didn't create a black hole, then who gives a sh*t?
Thank you, Mel. I'm glad you asked. Well, Horatio did. He cared. I mean, he did the experiment. And other scientists cared as well. They cared.
I don't think I do.
Well, this idea that he had to do this sparked... a lot of interest in the broader study of things like gravity and high energy physics and whatnot. And that connected heavy ion physics and string theory and gravitational analogies and all of that stuff, which helps physicists explore ways of understanding extreme states of matter, which probably helps them understand things more about how the, obviously how the universe was formed, but how to traverse across the universe as well. I might have added that little bit to make it sound more interesting. But the thing is, is that mainstream physicists and physics really don't support the idea that the Haldron Collider could, or the Rick, or the other one, the other big one, the LHC?
Oh, that one from a few years ago. That was just, that was, wasn't that just after COVID and everything had gone to poop? And I just thought, do we really want to deal with this right now? Is this the right time for this? No, Everything's under control. Just stop it.
That's what they're saying, like mainstream physics and the physicists behind mainstream physics really don't support the idea that Rick or the other one could create big dangers. Is it worth the risk though? Thank you, Mel. I'm glad you asked. I mean, take a look outside. Watch the news. The world's ****. Like, we might as well blow it up at this stage. Like, really, you know. Any more questions?
No.
You don't want to know whether or not we could make one right now.
Oh, all right. Can we make one right now?
Thank you, Bill. I'm glad you asked. They do suggest that they could do it, but they'd be harmless due to something called Hawking radiation, which is this process whereby black holes lose energy and evaporate. So it's like if they turn it off, then it just goes.
Okay.
It's gone.
Right.
So they don't think it's dangerous. I did that sound effect because I hadn't had time to source one earlier.
It didn't sound dangerous, so I'm feeling much more comforted about this now.
If a black hole formed that was microscopic, like in the middle of this room, right?
Yeah, what would it suck in?
Well, it wouldn't suck anything. It would evaporate in a fraction of a second because of...
Suck you into a picture or anything.
No, completely harmless. So far, no black holes, nothing to worry about. And if one of... formed, then it might have evaporated, but we're not sure. And most mainstream physicists think that the energy that is required to create a black hole far exceeds anything that we could ever achieve on Earth, especially in one of those colliders.
Okay.
And that concludes my TED Talk.
Haven't I always loved you? Oh, when I need you, you're almost here.
That's enough of that.
Almost here. Almost here. Brian McFadden and Delta Goodwin.
Delta, they were a couple at this stage.
No, they were not.
Oh, what?
This is where it all started. This song is from Brian. Brian with an I, because it was Brian with a Y, and then he left, what was it, Westlife?
And he changed it, he.
Dropped an I. And then he became Brian with an I. So now he's Brian with an I.
Same Brian, different Y or I. Okay, yes, good.
New spelling, new me.
Same spelling, different shot.
Out of the boy band to spend more time with my wife and kids, and now I've left my wife, and now I've released an album, Brian with an I. With Delta. he's released a single with Delta. The single was on his debut studio album, Irish Son. It was also on her second studio album, Mistaken Identity. So they both put it on their albums. Great. Fantastic.
You got joint custody of your son.
Released as a single in the UK on the 31st of January and here in Australia on the 7th of March. And we obviously liked it so much the next week and put it to #1. So this is where our Delta and Brian with an I first met. This is where it started.
Recording a single.
This is where they met.
Wow.
Ryan's just split up with his wife, who we wanted to spend more time with, which is why he left Westlife and changed the Y to an I, but apparently that didn't work out. He's just split. And Delta's just finished her relationship with the Poo, because apparently one of the newspapers here in Australia said he was going out of Paris Hilton and that was news to Delta, and then it was all over.
So she cut it off.
So they're both, yes.
And then and then so they're both single at the same time. They're in the recording studio.
It was very breathy, wasn't it?
Fireworks. It sounded like.
There was a bit breathy and steamy. No, I thought it felt a bit steamy.
There was tension there. was definitely tension. There was a lot of emotion. I don't know if it was sexual, but there was definitely emotion there.
They fell in love and began dating.
Tension with our Delta. Take it easy.
They began dating shortly after the recording. So I approve of that.
I'll allow Brian to date our Delta.
The relationship though.
Yes.
Do you remember Delta? So what are the what's the UK tabloids like the Sun?
Oh like the Sun and they're all the is it like I don't know like National Enquirer or.
News of the World. News of the World.
It's like well.
News of the World. Yes. They're like the trash.
Delta Goodroom and then Aliens.
Daily Mail.
Aliens stole my ovaries or something?
Yes, I know that's. That's the NT News.
That's the NT News. Crocodiles stole my ovaries and sold them to aliens.
Cracker in my clacker. ***** roof beat me up in the middle of the road. That's what happens in the NT News. That's a great, that's a great publication.
I'm having this kangaroo's baby. Or is it a Dingo's? I'm not sure. But we'll find out.
The UK tabloids. I think OK is another one in the UK. They hated her.
OK in the UK?
They hated Delta.
They thought Delta was a home breaker.
They thought she had ruined that she'd come in between. Because remember Kerry, she's in Atomic Kitten.
Yeah.
So she's in the biggest girl band over in the UK. He's in Westlife, the biggest boy band. So isn't that just a beautiful romantic story coming together as a girl, the boy band and reality TV. And they're both so beautiful.
Everyone wants it to work.
And then our Delta homewrecker comes in and just busted open across the tabloids.
I don't think that's fair for Delta.
She even.
Delta is often maligned and unfairly.
Do you?
Yeah.
Yes. Okay.
I just, I mean.
I'm still angry with her for yelling at me on the phone when I interviewed her all these years ago. So I have feelings.
I mean, I don't understand.
I did listen to the song. She accused me of not listening to the song. I did listen to the song.
Your research is sound, so I'm offended on your behalf.
Did you even listen to the song? Yes, I did, Delta.
Just a little bit of empathy. I mean, you know, she's young. She's been doing promo all day. She's got some other person on a radio station saying, say, who are your influences?
You know, I don't think I asked her that.
I think you've got more credibility than that. Anyway, I still think she's maligned. Lots of people criticise her when they see her on The Voice and they say very horrible things. And now it's not like she's not used to it because back in the day when she was hanging out with Brian McFadden and forged.
A relationship in the UK.
They were saying horrible things about her then too. So good thing she's got thick skin.
She said in an interview.
But it's still not nice and I still think you should be kinder to Delta.
Me, personally.
No, the royal you, like the world.
She said, I'm pretty sure I got voted the most hated woman in Britain one year in an interview. Now, yeah, that's not nice because they were both single. So everyone just get over it. November 20, November 2007, sorry. Despite the fact that people were saying that they were over, they got engaged. And then in 2009, they were planning a wedding. They're going to go to Bali. Some braids and some bintang for the guests.
Bintang singlet for Brian, some braids for Delta.
Delta, I thought you were classier than that.
Take your Imodium just in case you accidentally get a bit of water in your mouth when you're having a shower.
Yeah. Ride some jet skis.
Yep.
What else do you do in Bali? Yes, without a helmet.
What do you, what else do you do? I think generally just work really hard to try and stay clean. I've just got, I just, I have no, I'm sorry, I'm sorry if I've offended anyone who's Balinese or anyone who's been to Bali, but I just, I don't have, I don't see the attraction.
You don't, it just, yeah, it just feels like bogan, bogan trip.
I'm not keen on going anywhere. where if you accidentally drink water, which is something, I know it's a luxury and we're very lucky to have water and it's clean in this country and whatnot, but I'm not really keen on going anywhere where you drink water and then it makes you **** out your *** for the next week. I'm not keen on that. I'm sorry.
Well, it's not like you're invited to the wedding anyway.
I'm a simple man. I want people to lay off Delta.
Specifically said, you're not invited.
I'm not interested in going to Bali.
I'm not invited anywhere.
As much as I love you, Delta, I'm going to have to turn down the invite, I'm afraid.
Well, it didn't happen. The marriage never happened. The relationship fizzled out. And I think it was 2011 when they finally publicly ended their relationship. That was the end.
Unlucky.
Yes.
In love.
I dabble in voiceovers, voice acting.
Dabble. You're A black belt at voice acting. You're wonderful.
And I think I've spoken previously about maybe being typecast a little bit.
Oh, based on your what?
Oh, well, look, I had a run of... Gender, age. No, probably age, probably ailments. I had a run of, what did I have? I had some commercials for Bunions.
Bunions.
Toenail fungus.
Wow.
That the crusty heels that you get, the dry skin on your heels. So there's a whole run of that type of stuff for a while. It's a little bit.
Of art imitating life.
It's like my agent has seen my search history. But anyway, sure. But it's been a while, but I got two auditions come through this week.
Yeah.
One was for a lotion that helps with pain, aches, just general run of the mill aches and pains.
Pain lotion. pain motions.
And the other was an earwax remover.
Oh, they're very on-trend though, earwax removers. There's lots of earwax removal videos on the TikTok.
This one actually sounded really good, to be honest. I did Google it afterwards. Yeah, right. What was it?
Was it a water-based thing?
I can't say. It's NDA.
Oh, that's a shame.
NDA.
So you say you're being typecast, but I mean, I'm having, I'm of the same age group and I have a very active interest in that. What type was it? How much? Where can I get it?
I do feel they must just. look, because you get the corporate headshot done, right? You put your headshot up and your agent goes and finds work for you. I do feel sometimes I look at the corporate headshot and just think, Behind that professional headshot is a bunion sufferer.
Is someone suffering from bunions?
Feel a lot of aches and pains behind that headshot. She would be perfect.
You do assume a lot.
She would be perfect for claw toes.
Yeah, you do assume a lot from a headshot. I can tell just by looking at that chick's photo that she's got some serious wax in her ears.
Yes, exactly.
Unbelievable.
Third of April, 2005, and this is a bit of a follow-on from last week's Dispatch segment. We farewelled Pope John Paul II. Well, he passed away on April the 2nd. And this week on the 3rd of April, we have the global outpouring of grief, the mourning and the funeral. And also moving into electing the new Pope, which is quite the process. So we're going to break it down for you.
There's a lot of pomp and ceremony. They placed him in state within the Apostolic Palace's Clementine Hall, which allowed the faithful to come in and pay their respects. At 2137, our beloved, holy Father, John Paul II, has.
Returned to his home. The Catholic Church has lost its shepherd, the world has lost a champion of human freedom, and a good and faithful servant of God has been called home.
Yes, JP was head of the Catholic Church for over 26 years.
Yeah, he's like the only Pope I remember, like I said last week, like that's my Pope.
Yes, he's the influential Pope in my mind.
Yes, he was the Pope drew my formative years as a good Catholic boy.
He was the Pope when I did my sacraments.
He was the shepherd before I strayed from the flock.
When I smell the benediction smell, I think JP the Second.
So you think of he sees photo up the back of the church near the holy water.
Yes, exactly.
He wouldn't dip your hands in. in water these days and touch yourself afterwards, would you?
No, actually thinking back to that now.
It'd be gross.
That is.
Yeah, it's just this little thing of water and everyone dips their hands in it.
That is actually really.
It's like a giant communal finger bowl for hundreds of people.
Anyway, there's probably a topical cream for that. Possible. Might be voicing it next week.
Well, you know, I mean, or a miracle. I don't know.
He played a significant role in global affairs, including the fall of communism in Eastern Europe, interfaith dialogue and the advancement of human rights. He was known for a lot of human rights advocacy work.
He was.
He was born in 1920 in Poland and was actually the first non-Italian pope.
Carol Youssef watched... I see, I can't get there because the Polish pronunciation, I'm not sure. Yes. In Wadovici in Poland, but I probably didn't even say that correct.
It's an interesting looking L, isn't it? It's got a little thing through it.
Yeah, it's got a thing through the L.
No wonder you can say it.
I tried to, but I just, I don't, you know, I'm not from there, so I didn't do very well. So apologies for any of our Polish friends.
Or Pope fans.
Why? Haven't done anything, said anything about the Pope.
He didn't say his name properly.
Well, he's John Paul the Second now that he's a Pope. He's changed his name. Thank goodness, because it just rolls off the tongue so much easier.
First non-Italian Pope.
This is why you get the voice over jobs, not me.
For 150 years. Oh, don't get me to say those names.
I'm never going to be approached by a Polish earwax company now. *** **** it. How am I going to make any name?
I can never do awards. You know how good I am with people's names.
Yeah, you're a shocker. I just I just got.
One of those jobs once. It took me about 3 days.
The secret to it, and I should have shared this with you off air, really, but anyway, is to commit. Just commit. Like, that's all I ever have done. I just commit. And then people correct me, and then I get really cranky. Just, well, you ******* try it. And it's like, well, I did, and I told you the correct way. And it's like, oh, thanks.
Back to JP.
Yes, let's go back to the Pope, as I said.
Have some respect. He was elected in 1978. He travelled A lot. He did a lot of youth engagement, a lot of efforts to reconcile with other religious communities. He did start getting ill in the early 2000s. I think Parkinson's was causing him a lot of trouble.
Yeah, I remember we played that thing around Christmas time where he did the mass and he was just like barely holding on. It was like, goodness me, somebody Just let him rest.
And then he got a really bad flu.
Yes, and this is kind of, yeah, one, it's just, it's, his days were numbered, you could tell.
Yes, so he passed away in his Vatican residence on the 2nd of April 2005. And then the church moves into this mourning and also a transitional period.
But they celebrate as well. It's like this whole process of electing the new Pope where they have this process where they, it's called the Papal Conclave. There was a movie about it recently got nominated for an Oscar. And there's lots of tradition, there's lots of secrecy, although obviously it can't be secret about everything. So there is that mourning period after the Pope dies. So the Vatican enters that period of mourning. So that's nine days. You get nine days of that.
Gosh. And lots of people travelled there too to pay their respects, didn't they?
Yeah, and you ready? I'm going to try a pronunciation now. It's known as the Novem Diales.
Convinced.
Yeah, thanks. Good. So you just got to commit. Even if you try and sound just slightly exotic, but retain some of your own accent.
Oh, so maybe some?
A la George Sneaky and sometimes you could like roll your R. Novem Diales. Yeah, and then maybe roll your R if you get a chance. Only if you get a chance. Don't overdo it, though. So that's what it's called. And so they do the funeral rites, all the world leaders show up, hence George Bush's little speech there, religious figures and the faithful, of course, everybody can. show up and it gets pretty busy. So they have his funeral on the 8th of April in 2005. And that, I think, still stands as one of the largest gatherings of heads of state in history, because he was a very popular pope and he was a pope for quite some time, right? And then after all of that, after that happens, that's when the conclave stuff happens.
What's the conclave stuff?
Well, the conclave begin. Let the conclave begin. So 15 to 20 days after the Pope dies, the College of Cardinals, which is all the senior church officials, they gather in the Sistine Chapel, you know, the one that's got the ceiling. I've been in there. Have you been there, have you?
Yes, I went to the Vatican. I had to line up for a long time and I had to wear sleeves.
Oh, really? Oh, yes. Out of what? Respect.
I don't know. You can't go. Can't have any bare arms in there. Can't go sleeveless Pauline.
Is that right?
You're not allowed to take photos, but people were. So I was very annoyed at them doing that and not following the rules.
If I've got to wear sleeves, these people should not be allowed to take photos. Is it tacky or is there like, are there lots of souvenir shops in the Vatican or do they play it really straight?
I think outside of the Vatican. So you get like a.
T-shirt with like the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel of Michelangelo.
No, but you could get postcards and bookmarks. They were classy, classy souvenirs.
No, like, you know, in Australia, you get the little clip-on koalas. They were very popular with the suits.
No clip-on popes or anything, no.
Snow globes.
No, don't think so.
Don't think so. Okay, 15 to 20 days. The College of Cardinals, the senior church officials in the Sistine Chapel, they take an oath of secrecy and are sequestered from the outside world. So they lock them up. It's a big lock-in, no media or communication devices or anything. They're stuck in there.
Phone in the safe.
And that's where they start voting. and they have to vote for the new Pope. So the system goes that each cardinal writes the name of their preferred candidate on the ballot paper, then the ballots are collected and they're counted and they burn them after each round of voting. So you know how they're always watching the chimneys?
They're waiting for the smoke.
We'll get to that in a second.
Okay, good. I want to know the rules about the smoke.
So if no candidate receives at least two-thirds of the votes, so you need to have two-thirds of the votes to be the Pope, then they go around again.
Do they tell each other who they're voting for or is it an individual kind of thing? Do they go into a little booth like we do and you kind of put your arms around it so no one knows who you voted?
For? Or do they have a discussion? There may be some conversations that are conspiring before it could be difficult.
Because if they all vote in a certain way the first time and then they go, oh, we haven't reached a unanimous decision. Well, I'm just going to switch my vote for someone else. And then they all switch their vote for someone else. Then again, nobody else wins.
It does take some time. I want to watch that movie now. I'm sure that there are some. They're allowed to talk. Back of house conversations, but I'd say that.
I don't know. I don't know.
I don't know because it's shrouded in secrecy. I don't know because it's shrouded in secrecy. So it's the two-thirds thing. So if it's not, if the Pope doesn't get elected after several votes.
Then they can talk.
Probably should have read on.
Right. Sorry. for interrupting. Keep going.
It's all right. We had, I enjoyed it.
Here comes the smoke.
Tell me the smoke.
Because there's different colours or something.
So the cameras, you know, I see they got the light crossing line now to the Sistine Chapel's chimney.
Waiting for the smoke monster.
We can see three parts of all. You know, so they got to wait. They got to wait. So if it's black smoke, it means that no decision has been reached.
And it's the smoke from burning the papers.
So it's black smoke when they burn the papers. But if it's white smoke.
Yes.
So then that means that they've chosen the new Pope and everyone's.
Are they burning to get the white smoke? How do they make it change color?
I don't know, throw some, I don't know, gumlies.
Kind of like a gender reveal, whatever they do for the gender reveals.
It could be like a gender reveal, but it's a pope reveal. A pope reveal, yes. And it's, and they only do it one way. Like wouldn't it be good if they could do it in different ways?
I saw a great gender reveal that was like a, it was a Ferris wheel and it was going pink and blue and pink and blue and pink and blue and then went blue. So maybe you could do it on a Ferris wheel. I saw a burnout. I saw a burnout gender reveal once.
You just cut a cake and then it's either black or white inside. Give her a cake. What are you putting a cup in?
No, they put the champagne glass into the cake.
Oh, is that how they do it?
The husband and wife or the couple and they turn the other way and then they.
Pull the champagne glass. Is that how they do it? Well, that's not a cup. That's a champagne glass. That's still a cup. A cup of sorts.
So you could do that. You could have a black and white cake.
Yeah.
Okay.
I mean, that's very simple. That's what I just said. Yes.
Thanks for listening.
Yeah, I was too busy trying to wrap my head around the cup. I was trying to think of my own ones.
But maybe they could do it like with the cup that you drink the wine out of and just keep the religious thing going.
A chalice. Yeah, but they're generally not translucent. They're usually made out of a metal of some description.
Maybe communion could be involved. You could be.
Really.
Colour the communion.
Like you could suck on the wafer and stick your tongue out and see what colour.
Yeah, there is so many options.
There is, and I really don't think we've covered any of them adequate. But I'm sure you could come up with your own ideas. So once the new Pope is elected, he accepts the role. He's like, I accept the role. And then he chooses his papal name.
How does he choose his name? I'd like to think, remember when you did confirmation and you had to choose a confirmation name?
Yeah.
What was your confirmation name?
Luke.
Because it's in the Bible.
No, because Star Wars.
That's amazing.
Yeah, that's pretty good, isn't it? That's way before you could put Jedi on the census too, just quietly. I was a little bit ahead of the crowd.
Trailblazer.
Yeah, thank you very much. Yeah, it was pretty good.
What did your sponsor think of that? Did you tell them that was the reason?
No.
Because I feel like his sponsor should have said, No, you can't do that.
No, of course I didn't. I'm like, you know, you wrote...
Like Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John. Luke wrote the gospels of the Lux.
Exactly. Yeah. And he also needed to go to Tashi Station for some power converters. So, you know.
That's great.
Yeah. so that's what I did. So he chooses his name. I'm not, I'm just saying Luke's a pretty good option, I reckon, if you want to do that. And then it's called Hibernus Papum, which sounds like a spell from Harry Potter.
Hibernus Papum, meaning burn the paper and make the smoke.
No, it means we have a pope. I think that's what it means.
Otherwise, like, burn the paper. Hibernus Papum.
I think Papum is pope, and I think Hibernus is we have a. Okay. It's like. I said, it's like a Harry Potter spell. Hibernus Papum. And so that's from the balcony of St. Peter's Basilica.
Yes.
And then the Pope comes out and he gives his first blessing. And then everyone's finally, I mean, it's a long process. This is like, you know, 9 plus days afterwards.
Lots of voting, yeah.
So after two days of voting in 2005, Which we probably could have done next week, but God, let's just get it over and done. The conclave elected Joseph Ratzinger as the new Pope, Pope Ratzinger. And he took the name of Pope Benedict the 16th, which, and so that, and then the Catholic Church still gets a leader and all of that sort of stuff. But Pour one out for JP the second.
Yes.
You know, probably have some really.
The goat in my mind.
Just to keep water down red wine, it'll be fine. Just pour that out. It'll be fine. A couple of people might have had a sip from it as well.
Oh, I saw someone backwash once in the wine cup. It's just not. You just, I don't think you should be sticking your hands in anything or drinking or eating anything in church, really.
Things need to change in order to just keep them in step with best practice these days.
Okay, that's the end. That's the end of another summer programming episode. Hope you enjoyed, we'll use the term best lightly.
Yeah, it's just, I hope you enjoyed revisiting some of that stuff. And don't forget about those booms. I'm still reeling from the fact that you decided to open the boom box for the first podcast of the new year. And we're not even out of summer programming yet.
Oh, well, you know, it's been a while between booms. Had to bring it back.
It's extraordinary. We've got a few more of these up our sleeves, maybe one or two. I think we're going to the coast. shortly.
So maybe two.
Yeah, maybe two. We'll see how we go. Just so we can get some R&R in. It's been pretty hectic. But we love you. And don't forget to come and find us on the socials during this time. You can share your holiday photos. I don't know, do whatever. Search for T-minus 20 podcast on Facebook, Instagram, all of the things, whatever the old dude in the promo says to do. Do that. We'll see you next time. Bye.
Thanks for taking the time to rewind. Join us next time for another week that was 20 years ago. In the meantime, come and reminisce on the socials. Search for T-Minus 20 Podcast on Facebook, Instagram, and TikTok.